This is a blog, this is supposed to be a personal thing, so I'm going to make it very personal after this entry. I don't feel extremely comfortable writing about this, giving everyone extreme insight of my personal life, but in all actuality that's what a blog is for. I've already told you other stories about my life, might as well write about this one.
Have you ever been talking to someone and they just disappeared? Stopped answering your calls, texts, emails, morris code, whatever you use for means of communication? Why does that happen? Why are people that rude and mean? What did you ever do to them? What went wrong? Questions such as that swirl around my mind as the same thing just happened to me.
Regardless of the fact that I want to admit it or not, my so called "perfect boyfriend" wasn't perfect after all regardless of the great dates that we had when we were together. The first weeks growing up to the relationship were, but after that, things took a evil turn for unanswered reasons. We decided to make it monogamous, and things really just ended after that. I could never have never seen this coming, but something just happened and I still have so many questions unanswered.
But why was it after we made it official that things got weird? He got a promotion and I never heard from him again, really only once a week. I made two surprise stops to him at work and he promised everything was okay, just things were busy at work. Things aren't okay when you hear from your "significant other" once a week for three weeks and Facebook lets you know that every other five minutes he's liking shit on Facebook and Instagram. I cut him slack when he told me things were going on in his family, but after three weeks you can't even throw me a bone here and tell me anything? There were so many other personal aspects of his life that I knew, that this situation seemed so small and I was speechless that he couldn't tell me anything; maybe if he told me something I would be willing to wait. I'm an extremely compassionate person, and family is everything to me, so I understood in the beginning. I would always bring him small gifts when I visited, always unappreciated and never thanked, and that's probably when I should have got the hint. Then it just hit me one day; I can't waste a solid month in my 20's on someone that doesn't want to waste their time with me, I can't wait for someone if they can't even give me some kind of explanation. Things were great in the beginning, but why all of a sudden did things take a turn? It's just unacceptable and time is so precious that it shouldn't be wasted. Things shouldn't be wrong in the first couple months of a relationship, this was when you were supposed to be in a honeymoon phase, where you just wanted to rip each others clothes off everyday. So why was this happening to me? I never did anything wrong, and I know that for a fact.
So, I called him on Sunday, before that the last thing I heard from him was last Wednesday saying he would call me when he could, he was just busy at work. I told him Sunday on his voicemail (since that's the only way I could ever speak to him) that this isn't a relationship and that he needs to call me back for this to be fixed or ended. I never got a call back.
So why did he feel it necessary to waste three weeks of my time telling me that we were okay when we clearly weren't? Was it really work? Was it another girl? Was it really family? What's the point to just dangle me along? Just end things and let me move on, be a man, sometimes things just don't work out, I understand. I tried to be patient, then I realized I was just being a fool. Why do people do this? Is it lack of courage? Lack of self confidence? Not wanting to hurt someone? What is it? Why do people just disappear into thin air? What happened? All I did was good towards you, as a woman I've evaluated every aspect and every conversation and I know I'm right. (That's not just the stubborn Taurus in me.) I even bought books to learn Polish for him since that was his primary language; I know I'm a good person.
Moral to this story and relationship, don't waste your time on someone who doesn't want to waste their time on you. He could have texted me while taking his morning shit, could have texted me instead of liking stupid memes on Facebook, he clearly always saw my texts and could have sent me a text at some point in the day. I should know this by now, numerous boyfriends of my past, but I still get lost in a cloud of love whenever I meet someone I'm head over heels for. I make excuses for them, and that's just unacceptable; at least I didn't let it go on that long like I have in the past, can't be such a pessimist. Clear your head of this infatuation, and always be aware of the signs around you. Ignorance isn't always bliss. Really just be aware of the people in your life that actually do care and notice you. Those people are those that you should be wasting your time with; thanks M xox.
xox C
Monday, September 30, 2013
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
What do you do with a bad kisser?
Hello, hello, we meet again. It's been a while, and I've been pretty darn busy, but I'm currently unemployed and waiting for a start date on my new job. I don't want to jinx anything, but when I can, I will surely and happily announce to the world what my new life path entails.
On to bigger and better things, a new thought that has crossed my mind that's worthy to blog about- bad kissers. What do you do with them? Kick em' to the curb? Teach them how to kiss the way you like it? Is there a bad/wrong way to kiss? Yeah, there sure as hell is.
Back in the day, during my Match days, I was casual dating a guy that was a bad kisser. I didn't like him enough to consider him to be baby daddy material, but he was nice to be around with for the time being. I really just couldn't break it off with him because he was a bad kisser; but now that I think about it, couldn't I? I mean a strong relationship to me is a combination of friendship, respect, and sexual attraction. I had that with him, but since he was so bad at kissing, I just couldn't do it or think about wanting to move it to the next level. He was so nice that I kept saying yes to next dates, and the bad kissing part was the only reason why I wanted to say no. It was like kissing a dead fish; his tongue just sat in my mouth cold and wet and I didn't know what to do with it. He just didn't move, didn't use any hands, no passion at all. I would start to avoid any type of contact with him and always met in public places and dreaded the end of the night where he walked me to my car and kissed me goodnight or drove me home and kissed me goodnight. Maybe we just had no sexual chemistry even though I found him attractive, but you can't exactly tell someone that, or can you? Is that offensive? It takes me back to the movie 27 Dresses, (Long story short- girl loves her boss, her boss falls for her sister, it doesn't work out with sister, so she tells the boss she likes him, they kiss and they don't feel any "magic.") so when you don't feel "magic" with someone, I guess you can tell them? How is that magic supposed to feel? A little tingle in your heart? A little tingle in your lady parts? Maybe? Maybe I thought things would change, maybe I thought could change them, but when I really get down to thinking and writing, it is what it is. You can't force things that aren't meant to be. I knew from square one that it wasn't right, but why did I keep pursing it? To fill up my time? To try and make it work because I knew how nice he was and it's so hard to find a nice guy now-a-days? Whatever the reason was, now I know that you really need to realize that what you see is what you get, and if something bothers you that much, then it's a deal breaker and you end things. I guess you got to experience life and people to really realize what's good and not good for you.
I once had a friend that a lot of my guy friends made out with, and they always said she was a bad kisser- dead fish kinda deal. Each and every guy said the same thing to me and pulled me aside and asked me to show her how to kiss. Never did, I never confronted her, I didn't know how I would do it. Now, she's in a steady relationship with a guy that can deal with her bad habits. Maybe he didn't think being a bad kisser was that big of a deal. Who knows, I can never ask, but maybe he doesn't think she's a bad kisser, maybe he taught her, maybe I have to ask him... Maybe I'll just keep that scenario to my imagination.
Life is about experiencing new things each and everyday. You can't shelter yourself, you just got to go out and do you. Even though he was a nice guy, being a bad kisser really was what I couldn't deal with. I couldn't think about having to deal with how horrible it would be if the kisses goodnight were bad. (I mean, hey, it's the truth) So, you got to find someone with flaws that you can accept, ones that aren't going to bother you each and everyday; just takes a lot of dates, timing, and patience to find someone with those qualities. Good luck to me and all of you out there ;)
That's it for now.
xox C
On to bigger and better things, a new thought that has crossed my mind that's worthy to blog about- bad kissers. What do you do with them? Kick em' to the curb? Teach them how to kiss the way you like it? Is there a bad/wrong way to kiss? Yeah, there sure as hell is.
Back in the day, during my Match days, I was casual dating a guy that was a bad kisser. I didn't like him enough to consider him to be baby daddy material, but he was nice to be around with for the time being. I really just couldn't break it off with him because he was a bad kisser; but now that I think about it, couldn't I? I mean a strong relationship to me is a combination of friendship, respect, and sexual attraction. I had that with him, but since he was so bad at kissing, I just couldn't do it or think about wanting to move it to the next level. He was so nice that I kept saying yes to next dates, and the bad kissing part was the only reason why I wanted to say no. It was like kissing a dead fish; his tongue just sat in my mouth cold and wet and I didn't know what to do with it. He just didn't move, didn't use any hands, no passion at all. I would start to avoid any type of contact with him and always met in public places and dreaded the end of the night where he walked me to my car and kissed me goodnight or drove me home and kissed me goodnight. Maybe we just had no sexual chemistry even though I found him attractive, but you can't exactly tell someone that, or can you? Is that offensive? It takes me back to the movie 27 Dresses, (Long story short- girl loves her boss, her boss falls for her sister, it doesn't work out with sister, so she tells the boss she likes him, they kiss and they don't feel any "magic.") so when you don't feel "magic" with someone, I guess you can tell them? How is that magic supposed to feel? A little tingle in your heart? A little tingle in your lady parts? Maybe? Maybe I thought things would change, maybe I thought could change them, but when I really get down to thinking and writing, it is what it is. You can't force things that aren't meant to be. I knew from square one that it wasn't right, but why did I keep pursing it? To fill up my time? To try and make it work because I knew how nice he was and it's so hard to find a nice guy now-a-days? Whatever the reason was, now I know that you really need to realize that what you see is what you get, and if something bothers you that much, then it's a deal breaker and you end things. I guess you got to experience life and people to really realize what's good and not good for you.
I once had a friend that a lot of my guy friends made out with, and they always said she was a bad kisser- dead fish kinda deal. Each and every guy said the same thing to me and pulled me aside and asked me to show her how to kiss. Never did, I never confronted her, I didn't know how I would do it. Now, she's in a steady relationship with a guy that can deal with her bad habits. Maybe he didn't think being a bad kisser was that big of a deal. Who knows, I can never ask, but maybe he doesn't think she's a bad kisser, maybe he taught her, maybe I have to ask him... Maybe I'll just keep that scenario to my imagination.
Life is about experiencing new things each and everyday. You can't shelter yourself, you just got to go out and do you. Even though he was a nice guy, being a bad kisser really was what I couldn't deal with. I couldn't think about having to deal with how horrible it would be if the kisses goodnight were bad. (I mean, hey, it's the truth) So, you got to find someone with flaws that you can accept, ones that aren't going to bother you each and everyday; just takes a lot of dates, timing, and patience to find someone with those qualities. Good luck to me and all of you out there ;)
That's it for now.
xox C
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Indeed, chivalry is not dead.
I hate to say it, but the dating aspect of my blog has come to a close. I know I said in my last post that I was seeing someone that I really liked, and we just had that monogamous conversation talk the other night over the best and most thoughtful date I've ever had in my life. This goes to say that I still will write about interesting dating issues, but maybe I'll start using stories from my friends or I don't even know at the time being, but I promise I will keep you all entertained. I can really get creative sometimes, so I'm really not too worried. I've had a numerous amount of people tell me that they will be upset that I won't have any more dating stories to post, but who's to say I'm not going to wake up one day and elope with this guy? That could be an interesting story, but I'm not going to get ahead of myself too much ;) Plus, I did tell him about this blog of mine...
Regardless of the fact that I need to write a closing blog of my dating life, (I mean this was supposed to be a menswear blog) I really need to write about chivalry before I do so. What exactly is chivalry in this day and age? Is it opening car doors? Paying for your drunken meal at The Grilled Cheese Factory after you took eight shots each on his tab at a dive bar? Is it having him fill your tires with air because you don't understand anything about cars? Is it having him notarize your teacher certificate paperwork? Is it buying you your favorite flowers? (Side note- I can proudly say all of those have happened to me, hence the detailed descriptions.) Whatever chivalry is it you, it really depends on your standards and how much moral respect you have for yourself. (This is a blog, I am entitled to my own opinion, so hear me out) Anyone could think paying for a drunken meal at The Grilled Cheese Factory $13 later is just fan-fucking-tastic or maybe your idea of chivalry is someone who spends $275 at a five star restaurant in New York City; to me chivalry is really something that is an act that has meaning to (that particular person), that no money value can ever attain. I want someone to listen to what I have to say, I want someone to go out of their way for me, I want my partner to respect me as much as I respect him, I want it all; I mean who doesn't? After all, isn't the point of dating to find your best friend? With sexual chemistry of course... Isn't the most healthy relationship start with a friendship? We all have our different opinions on this one, but I really find that chivalry is just something a guy has or he doesn't, most of the time your parents raise you with this set of core values.
All my life I've dated guys that I liked, but I've really I've had some little doubt in my mind about, yet always ignored. I don't want to come off as being passive aggressive, I'm just being honest, it is what it is and now where I am in my life, I'm fully aware of it. Maybe I just wasn't ready to find "the one" just yet while dating in the past. I had fun in my last relationships, but there comes a time in a place where you need to look for a baby daddy/husband and not just someone who's fun to get drunk and have sex with. I had a great time on Match.com, and I would seriously recommend it to anyone; I really had an insanely good time after being on it for two and a half months, even with the drama. I just was finally getting to a point that I was over it, I was over the dating scene, and trying to remember everything that every guy I went on a date with said to me so I didn't seem rude. (Like I said, I never made it to making flashcards of every one of the guys.) It honestly just got too hard and too overwhelming, and dating really shouldn't be like that. Then, I met a game changer; someone that actually stood out to me in more ways than one. I know I'm young, I'm only 24, but when you meet someone that actually makes your heart skip a beat, you got to just go with the flow. I don't think there's a time in your life that's "ideal" to be married or pregnant or all those other fun things, especially when Mr. or Mrs. Right come along; When it happens, it happens. If I get married tomorrow, as my darling would ironically say, "YOLO." (For all you old people on here- You Only Live Once.) It's really just so true even though that phrase is just miserable!
So, the other night I went on a date that's truly one for the books, at least in my dating history. I feel the need to express this because it's just was that awesome and thoughtful and every girl should have a guy out there that treats them like a princess. I hate when guys think that concept is stupid (girls thinking they need to be treated like a princess), I mean after all, you're supposed to be doing most of the wooing, even in today's modern society. Every girl should have a guy that treats them like gold, or every guy should have another guy that treats them like gold; it's whatever tickles your fancy. Everyone in this world deserves respect. So, anyways, this date... I knew about it for a week, but he never told me what we were doing, it was my first surprise date ever, and I was scared...
6:00 PM- He picks me up at work, he comes into my store with one single flower from a hydrangea. (points to this guy, he knows how to listen when I speak) He says in the cutest and dorky-est way ever, "I didn't want to be cheesy and bring you a whole thing of flowers." I love it, I don't usually love cheesy and typical, too cliché for my liking. I could tell he's extremely nervous by the little stutter in his insanely sexy Polish accent. It's cute, I blush, my heart flutters whenever he speaks; I mean I am your stereotypical born and raised New Jersey white chick, accents are like once and a blue moon thing for me. I go and I get changed out of my uniform and my coworkers entertain him/I told them to feel him out for me. (I'm so kind, I know, sorry my dear.) So, all is good, I'm all dressed and ready to go in one of my absolute favorite dresses- a white with black polka dot dress and bright pink shoes; I had this outfit planned out ever since he told me we would be going on a surprise date, and I knew I had to wear it, especially when he said he loved a woman in polka dots.(So fem and chic)
6:30 PM- Anyways, back on track... So, we get to his car and he's still nervous while he plugs the destination into his GPS; he drops his phone several times, but I like nothing ever happened, he has complete composure... He also greeted me with a hydrangea in a bottle of Poland Spring, and I wouldn't have it any other way. At this point in time, the only thing I knew about the date is as follows:
1. I wasn't allowed to wear heels.
2. I had to be comfortable.
3. He needed to bring a car with a bigger backseat... (Get your mind out of the gutter.)
4. I wasn't going to be home before midnight... (Again, get your mind out of the gutter.)
5. People now a days don't really do this anymore, he's an old soul, just like yours truly.
6. It's a fifth date, and he says he won't bring me to the woods and kill me; good to know.
7. We are going somewhere to pick something up and then we are going somewhere for the final destination.
So, he informs me that we have an hour drive. An hour drive... Where is he taking me? What the hell are we doing? Guesses people?
7:30 PM- We arrive at a strip mall. Hmm... I see a pizza place, I love pizza more than anything in the world, hopefully he remembers, it is Friday and I do have pizza every Friday. (True, but not true on the favorite thing in the world part... I'll let you take that as you want.) So, he says he did a lot of research and this is one of the best pizza places in New York. New York you say... Yeah, I was in Warwick, NY which was basically like the sticks, still had no idea what we were doing. Maybe a pizza eating contest?
8:15 PM- We pick up the two (yes, two pies of pizza. I told him I could eat a pie by myself in one sitting and ironically enough, he's the pizza eating champion of his town. After the told me that, I knew our meeting was fate.) pies of pizza and we head to our next destination.
8:30 PM- We arrive at Warwick Drive in movie theatres. Root beer- my fav, wine- my fav, plastic wine glasses (classy like that), and bug spray- because bugs terrify me, pillows, blankets, etc... Nothing short of thoughtful just to make a lady feel comfortable.
1 AM?- We drive to Pennsylvania to look at the stars in his favorite spot on the east coast.
I'll just leave it at I didn't get back to wee hours of the morning, but he was a complete gentleman and all. Every girl should be treated in such a thoughtful manner; I mean the guy planned out thirteen other dates before he thought of this one...
So what should be expected when it comes to a first date? I say first date because technically it was our "first date." Long story short, before this, we only visited each other on each others lunch hours, so it was a fake first date. I can't bore you too much with my personal life... So, when push comes to shove, what do you prefer? I could tell you this, 9 out of 10 women are totally with my thoughts on the surprise date idea; every lady is a sucker for a romantic guy. So if you're a guy, what will you plan for your next first date? All I ask is that you be original; I mean if you're looking for something serious, you're bound to get a second date after you take a girl on a date that is extremely well thought out, just like stated above. Like I said, it doesn't matter to most girls how much you spend, (the world is full of divas.) to most it really matters on how much you actually planned the date around that girl that you're going out with; what does she like? what are her favorite things in the world and how many of those favorite things can you fit into one date? With that, that's my definition of chivalry. Think of the girl you're seeing and what she likes and dislikes on your next first date if you want to keep her around, don't do your typical dinner date, think outside of the box and I promise you'll get some extra kisses for it.
xox C
Regardless of the fact that I need to write a closing blog of my dating life, (I mean this was supposed to be a menswear blog) I really need to write about chivalry before I do so. What exactly is chivalry in this day and age? Is it opening car doors? Paying for your drunken meal at The Grilled Cheese Factory after you took eight shots each on his tab at a dive bar? Is it having him fill your tires with air because you don't understand anything about cars? Is it having him notarize your teacher certificate paperwork? Is it buying you your favorite flowers? (Side note- I can proudly say all of those have happened to me, hence the detailed descriptions.) Whatever chivalry is it you, it really depends on your standards and how much moral respect you have for yourself. (This is a blog, I am entitled to my own opinion, so hear me out) Anyone could think paying for a drunken meal at The Grilled Cheese Factory $13 later is just fan-fucking-tastic or maybe your idea of chivalry is someone who spends $275 at a five star restaurant in New York City; to me chivalry is really something that is an act that has meaning to (that particular person), that no money value can ever attain. I want someone to listen to what I have to say, I want someone to go out of their way for me, I want my partner to respect me as much as I respect him, I want it all; I mean who doesn't? After all, isn't the point of dating to find your best friend? With sexual chemistry of course... Isn't the most healthy relationship start with a friendship? We all have our different opinions on this one, but I really find that chivalry is just something a guy has or he doesn't, most of the time your parents raise you with this set of core values.
All my life I've dated guys that I liked, but I've really I've had some little doubt in my mind about, yet always ignored. I don't want to come off as being passive aggressive, I'm just being honest, it is what it is and now where I am in my life, I'm fully aware of it. Maybe I just wasn't ready to find "the one" just yet while dating in the past. I had fun in my last relationships, but there comes a time in a place where you need to look for a baby daddy/husband and not just someone who's fun to get drunk and have sex with. I had a great time on Match.com, and I would seriously recommend it to anyone; I really had an insanely good time after being on it for two and a half months, even with the drama. I just was finally getting to a point that I was over it, I was over the dating scene, and trying to remember everything that every guy I went on a date with said to me so I didn't seem rude. (Like I said, I never made it to making flashcards of every one of the guys.) It honestly just got too hard and too overwhelming, and dating really shouldn't be like that. Then, I met a game changer; someone that actually stood out to me in more ways than one. I know I'm young, I'm only 24, but when you meet someone that actually makes your heart skip a beat, you got to just go with the flow. I don't think there's a time in your life that's "ideal" to be married or pregnant or all those other fun things, especially when Mr. or Mrs. Right come along; When it happens, it happens. If I get married tomorrow, as my darling would ironically say, "YOLO." (For all you old people on here- You Only Live Once.) It's really just so true even though that phrase is just miserable!
So, the other night I went on a date that's truly one for the books, at least in my dating history. I feel the need to express this because it's just was that awesome and thoughtful and every girl should have a guy out there that treats them like a princess. I hate when guys think that concept is stupid (girls thinking they need to be treated like a princess), I mean after all, you're supposed to be doing most of the wooing, even in today's modern society. Every girl should have a guy that treats them like gold, or every guy should have another guy that treats them like gold; it's whatever tickles your fancy. Everyone in this world deserves respect. So, anyways, this date... I knew about it for a week, but he never told me what we were doing, it was my first surprise date ever, and I was scared...
6:00 PM- He picks me up at work, he comes into my store with one single flower from a hydrangea. (points to this guy, he knows how to listen when I speak) He says in the cutest and dorky-est way ever, "I didn't want to be cheesy and bring you a whole thing of flowers." I love it, I don't usually love cheesy and typical, too cliché for my liking. I could tell he's extremely nervous by the little stutter in his insanely sexy Polish accent. It's cute, I blush, my heart flutters whenever he speaks; I mean I am your stereotypical born and raised New Jersey white chick, accents are like once and a blue moon thing for me. I go and I get changed out of my uniform and my coworkers entertain him/I told them to feel him out for me. (I'm so kind, I know, sorry my dear.) So, all is good, I'm all dressed and ready to go in one of my absolute favorite dresses- a white with black polka dot dress and bright pink shoes; I had this outfit planned out ever since he told me we would be going on a surprise date, and I knew I had to wear it, especially when he said he loved a woman in polka dots.(So fem and chic)
6:30 PM- Anyways, back on track... So, we get to his car and he's still nervous while he plugs the destination into his GPS; he drops his phone several times, but I like nothing ever happened, he has complete composure... He also greeted me with a hydrangea in a bottle of Poland Spring, and I wouldn't have it any other way. At this point in time, the only thing I knew about the date is as follows:
1. I wasn't allowed to wear heels.
2. I had to be comfortable.
3. He needed to bring a car with a bigger backseat... (Get your mind out of the gutter.)
4. I wasn't going to be home before midnight... (Again, get your mind out of the gutter.)
5. People now a days don't really do this anymore, he's an old soul, just like yours truly.
6. It's a fifth date, and he says he won't bring me to the woods and kill me; good to know.
7. We are going somewhere to pick something up and then we are going somewhere for the final destination.
So, he informs me that we have an hour drive. An hour drive... Where is he taking me? What the hell are we doing? Guesses people?
7:30 PM- We arrive at a strip mall. Hmm... I see a pizza place, I love pizza more than anything in the world, hopefully he remembers, it is Friday and I do have pizza every Friday. (True, but not true on the favorite thing in the world part... I'll let you take that as you want.) So, he says he did a lot of research and this is one of the best pizza places in New York. New York you say... Yeah, I was in Warwick, NY which was basically like the sticks, still had no idea what we were doing. Maybe a pizza eating contest?
8:15 PM- We pick up the two (yes, two pies of pizza. I told him I could eat a pie by myself in one sitting and ironically enough, he's the pizza eating champion of his town. After the told me that, I knew our meeting was fate.) pies of pizza and we head to our next destination.
8:30 PM- We arrive at Warwick Drive in movie theatres. Root beer- my fav, wine- my fav, plastic wine glasses (classy like that), and bug spray- because bugs terrify me, pillows, blankets, etc... Nothing short of thoughtful just to make a lady feel comfortable.
1 AM?- We drive to Pennsylvania to look at the stars in his favorite spot on the east coast.
I'll just leave it at I didn't get back to wee hours of the morning, but he was a complete gentleman and all. Every girl should be treated in such a thoughtful manner; I mean the guy planned out thirteen other dates before he thought of this one...
So what should be expected when it comes to a first date? I say first date because technically it was our "first date." Long story short, before this, we only visited each other on each others lunch hours, so it was a fake first date. I can't bore you too much with my personal life... So, when push comes to shove, what do you prefer? I could tell you this, 9 out of 10 women are totally with my thoughts on the surprise date idea; every lady is a sucker for a romantic guy. So if you're a guy, what will you plan for your next first date? All I ask is that you be original; I mean if you're looking for something serious, you're bound to get a second date after you take a girl on a date that is extremely well thought out, just like stated above. Like I said, it doesn't matter to most girls how much you spend, (the world is full of divas.) to most it really matters on how much you actually planned the date around that girl that you're going out with; what does she like? what are her favorite things in the world and how many of those favorite things can you fit into one date? With that, that's my definition of chivalry. Think of the girl you're seeing and what she likes and dislikes on your next first date if you want to keep her around, don't do your typical dinner date, think outside of the box and I promise you'll get some extra kisses for it.
xox C
Friday, August 23, 2013
How do you break up with someone you're not dating?
As per popular demand, here's my thoughts on how to break up with someone you're not dating.
Lately, I've been enjoying the single life and meeting an absurd amount of guys each week; I'd probably say for the last two and a half months I've been going out on four different dates a week. That's a lot, I know, but I'm young and I've never done this before, so why not. I've met some interesting guys, found out a lot about myself, had some good meals, had some really awkward meals, almost left in the middle of a date, I've had some interesting nights. It's not like I've slept with any of them, that's just not who I am. When I think about it, only three of them I have been on second dates with. It's been fun, it's been real, until this one guy kinda stopped my in my tracks; I must say I'm a little smitten. So, I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I've been realizing that I should slowly start cutting off the other dates I had planned, and really just focus on one guy, just to get back into the monogamous mindset even though we haven't had that conversation just yet. But, maybe we kinda did... Did we? Like I said, this whole dating around thing isn't me anyways. Oddly enough, I actually considered writing flashcards for each guy that I was dating just so I didn't sound like a jerk on a date and called him by his wrong name. I asked my mom about the flashcard concept, and she actually said it was a smart idea, that it was a really organized of me to do that and didn't judge me at all. (Unfortunately, I never got to flashcards because of a certain someone...) So, basically, the point of this blog is to really think about how to remove someone you're kinda seeing out of your life to make room for someone you actually really like; I really want to do it in the nicest way possible. I don't want to use the, "it's not you it's me excuse," but I really got to get to brainstorming if I don't want to be an asshole. But, who really cares if I'm an asshole? I'm never going to see these guys ever again. Whatever, regardless of me being the kind soul (only at times) that I am, I need to think of something that's not going to make me go to hell and not going to make this guy jump off a bridge. As you've noticed, I'm kind of a list person, so here's my thoughts a little all over the place.
List of possible ideas on how to break up with someone you're not dating:
1. You can just not answer any of their calls or texts. Hypothetically, this idea sounds great, and I've actually really started using it with a couple of guys that I never met face to face. I got this idea from when I first started Match.com. I was talking to this guy, things were going great, we planned a date, and then when the day came I called him and he never answered. So, I waited... and waited... and couple hours later I just said something like, "Hey, looks like we aren't hanging out, hit me up whenever you want to meet up." Said dude never answered, and I was a heartbroken for a couple days, it is what it is; I probably was only upset because it was the first person I talked to on Match. There actually was another time when I met someone that I thought was going to be my next boyfriend; seriously, he seemed to be exactly what I wanted. We had a great first date, went through two bottles of wine (Little hypocritical as per a prior blog post- there are always expections), he kissed me goodnight, called me for a couple days after, and then never answered my calls. I was so angry that I called him out on it and said something like, "I never expected this of you, this is so dick of you" (went a little bitchmode) and he actually apologized saying something like, "one day you'll (aka me) find someone great because I deserve it.. yadda, yadda..." Still never found out what happened with him, but I don't give a shit anymore, his loss. After these two scenarios, I really don't think I can do that to someone I went on a couple dates with.
And so, I keep thinking... I really only have to "break up" with one guy. What to do...
2. I can meet up with him for coffee/drinks and break the news. This all sounds great, but I really don't owe him anything after five dates; wait, do I? We never had a conversation about our future, probably because I never saw a future with him, he was just nice and a time filler, and I figured he was so genuine that he deserved my time. When is there a point in time that you "owe" someone something? I don't really want to see him again because I know he's not for me, but he's not a mean guy...
Side note, I think in order for you to fully understand this dilemma I'm going through, I think I need to explain this guy to you. This guy, let's call him Daniel, and he is overall a really sweet guy.
Cons with Daniel:
1. He doesn't look me in the eyes when we talk; huge, huge pet peeve.
2. He's really shy, and I'm not at all.
3. He's extremely cheap from what I can grasp.
4. He likes only dive bars.
5. I know I'm sheltered, but he's like SHELTERD.
6. It sounds like he's never had a real girlfriend at the age of 26.
7. He doesn't have the type of motivation I'm really seeking in a significant other.
8. He's not my typical type.
Pros:
1. He's legitimately a sweet guy, he would never be a dick to me.
2. He's funny when he let's his guard down.
3. He can keep up with my sass
4. I can't think of anything anymore; why didn't I do this earlier?
From our first date I could tell he wasn't the one; is that bad? Should have stopped seeing him after that? But, he was so nice and so safe I kept giving him second chances in hopes that I would like him more, but I just don't. But now I actually found someone that I like, and I really should just cut him off before I get his hopes up or he thinks we are dating... I mean, I did meet his sisters on our second date... Alright, help me out here people...
3. I can just text him and tell him the truth. Who doesn't like the truth? I feel like everyone out there deserves the truth, so this has to be the answer. "Hey Daniel, you're a nice guy, but I started seeing someone else and uh good luck! Don't jump off a bridge! You're a nice guy, just not for me!" I could say it awkwardly like that, or I can think of something more creative. Short and sweet is really the way to go in scenarios such as this.
I think option three is the way to go. Are there rules with this kind of thing? Do you have to be nice to someone when situations like this happen? I guess on how you end things really is a judge of character. Eh, I've been broken up with in via text message, (fuck you, cop outs ;) so it is what it is. Wish me luck. Perhaps I'll post results...
xox C
Lately, I've been enjoying the single life and meeting an absurd amount of guys each week; I'd probably say for the last two and a half months I've been going out on four different dates a week. That's a lot, I know, but I'm young and I've never done this before, so why not. I've met some interesting guys, found out a lot about myself, had some good meals, had some really awkward meals, almost left in the middle of a date, I've had some interesting nights. It's not like I've slept with any of them, that's just not who I am. When I think about it, only three of them I have been on second dates with. It's been fun, it's been real, until this one guy kinda stopped my in my tracks; I must say I'm a little smitten. So, I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I've been realizing that I should slowly start cutting off the other dates I had planned, and really just focus on one guy, just to get back into the monogamous mindset even though we haven't had that conversation just yet. But, maybe we kinda did... Did we? Like I said, this whole dating around thing isn't me anyways. Oddly enough, I actually considered writing flashcards for each guy that I was dating just so I didn't sound like a jerk on a date and called him by his wrong name. I asked my mom about the flashcard concept, and she actually said it was a smart idea, that it was a really organized of me to do that and didn't judge me at all. (Unfortunately, I never got to flashcards because of a certain someone...) So, basically, the point of this blog is to really think about how to remove someone you're kinda seeing out of your life to make room for someone you actually really like; I really want to do it in the nicest way possible. I don't want to use the, "it's not you it's me excuse," but I really got to get to brainstorming if I don't want to be an asshole. But, who really cares if I'm an asshole? I'm never going to see these guys ever again. Whatever, regardless of me being the kind soul (only at times) that I am, I need to think of something that's not going to make me go to hell and not going to make this guy jump off a bridge. As you've noticed, I'm kind of a list person, so here's my thoughts a little all over the place.
List of possible ideas on how to break up with someone you're not dating:
1. You can just not answer any of their calls or texts. Hypothetically, this idea sounds great, and I've actually really started using it with a couple of guys that I never met face to face. I got this idea from when I first started Match.com. I was talking to this guy, things were going great, we planned a date, and then when the day came I called him and he never answered. So, I waited... and waited... and couple hours later I just said something like, "Hey, looks like we aren't hanging out, hit me up whenever you want to meet up." Said dude never answered, and I was a heartbroken for a couple days, it is what it is; I probably was only upset because it was the first person I talked to on Match. There actually was another time when I met someone that I thought was going to be my next boyfriend; seriously, he seemed to be exactly what I wanted. We had a great first date, went through two bottles of wine (Little hypocritical as per a prior blog post- there are always expections), he kissed me goodnight, called me for a couple days after, and then never answered my calls. I was so angry that I called him out on it and said something like, "I never expected this of you, this is so dick of you" (went a little bitchmode) and he actually apologized saying something like, "one day you'll (aka me) find someone great because I deserve it.. yadda, yadda..." Still never found out what happened with him, but I don't give a shit anymore, his loss. After these two scenarios, I really don't think I can do that to someone I went on a couple dates with.
And so, I keep thinking... I really only have to "break up" with one guy. What to do...
2. I can meet up with him for coffee/drinks and break the news. This all sounds great, but I really don't owe him anything after five dates; wait, do I? We never had a conversation about our future, probably because I never saw a future with him, he was just nice and a time filler, and I figured he was so genuine that he deserved my time. When is there a point in time that you "owe" someone something? I don't really want to see him again because I know he's not for me, but he's not a mean guy...
Side note, I think in order for you to fully understand this dilemma I'm going through, I think I need to explain this guy to you. This guy, let's call him Daniel, and he is overall a really sweet guy.
Cons with Daniel:
1. He doesn't look me in the eyes when we talk; huge, huge pet peeve.
2. He's really shy, and I'm not at all.
3. He's extremely cheap from what I can grasp.
4. He likes only dive bars.
5. I know I'm sheltered, but he's like SHELTERD.
6. It sounds like he's never had a real girlfriend at the age of 26.
7. He doesn't have the type of motivation I'm really seeking in a significant other.
8. He's not my typical type.
Pros:
1. He's legitimately a sweet guy, he would never be a dick to me.
2. He's funny when he let's his guard down.
3. He can keep up with my sass
4. I can't think of anything anymore; why didn't I do this earlier?
From our first date I could tell he wasn't the one; is that bad? Should have stopped seeing him after that? But, he was so nice and so safe I kept giving him second chances in hopes that I would like him more, but I just don't. But now I actually found someone that I like, and I really should just cut him off before I get his hopes up or he thinks we are dating... I mean, I did meet his sisters on our second date... Alright, help me out here people...
3. I can just text him and tell him the truth. Who doesn't like the truth? I feel like everyone out there deserves the truth, so this has to be the answer. "Hey Daniel, you're a nice guy, but I started seeing someone else and uh good luck! Don't jump off a bridge! You're a nice guy, just not for me!" I could say it awkwardly like that, or I can think of something more creative. Short and sweet is really the way to go in scenarios such as this.
I think option three is the way to go. Are there rules with this kind of thing? Do you have to be nice to someone when situations like this happen? I guess on how you end things really is a judge of character. Eh, I've been broken up with in via text message, (fuck you, cop outs ;) so it is what it is. Wish me luck. Perhaps I'll post results...
xox C
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Is it okay to Google someone you're talking to?
I've really been debating if this was a post I should write, but I've really decided that I had to. When I think about it, it's something I'm passionate about, and so I should be able to write a blog about it. In no way shape or form am I trying to be disrespectful to the guy that I was talking to, I just don't agree with what he was doing and his approach to courting me and I feel the need for others to hear about it.
As I've stated prior, I'm a little old fashioned compared to a lot of people my age; I like hand written thank you notes, hardcover books over Kindles, I really enjoy the beauty behind words, which is probably the reason why I'm an English Major. I must admit that I am an avid texter, (although, not as much as my brothers!) but that doesn't mean that I don't love to have a phone conversation for hours with friends or someone that I'm getting to know. So, when I was talking to a guy and he said he Googled me and found my Twitter, Blog, etc. I got a little taken back and worried. Why did this guy feel the need to look me up using the Internet and not just ask me questions himself? I understand with modern technologly all around us, there's really no boundaries on what you can find out about a person through the internet. I just really think doing something such as Googling someone you're courting or dating is crossing a boundary; regardless of the fact that I have absolutely nothing to hide, I just felt violated in such a sense.
Let's call Mr. Google Steve. I met Steve off of Match, no more Tinder ever again. He was from Philadelphia, and part of me was always very hesistant about pursing anything because my last relationship was long distance and he lived right outside of Philadelphia as well; I really don't think I'm willing to make a commitment to another long distance relationship, I want something that's a little easier. So, because he was so funny and cute, I was willing to give him the time of day regardless that he was 100 miles away. We talked for weeks and apparently I cancelled on him two times in the period of a month and a half of knowing each other. (I don't even remember consenting to dates) So, last weekend we had a final date opportunity (final date opportunity in his eyes), but my schedule was just so off because of work. I was working way overtime because we were understaffed, and I was putting in 14 hour days (I would do that if I was teaching, but this is retail, and I don't get paid that well to be there for that long ;) Anyways, I told Steve that I might be free on Saturday, but I really wasn't too sure because of how my schedule was looking the past couple of days.
So, Saturday rolls around, I worked all day, and had to bail on Steve again. You do what you gotta do on commission; sorry, but making enough money to pay off my student loans is more of a priorty than going on a date with anyone, sorry for being too logical. So Steve got a little mad...
After reading this, I can't tell if I'm the bigger bitch or not. He was a nice guy, total gentleman, but like I said before, I just wasn't having it with the distance and my history with long distance relationships. So, I didn't answer him for a while...
After seeing this, I really felt heartbroken for a short period of time; Is writing my blog wrong? Am I being a mean person? I mean I really try and keep the identity of these guys private, so I really didn't care what he was saying. The purpose of the blog is for laugher, and maybe some people will learn a couple dating do's and don'ts. It's not meant to be malicious at all. Then things started to get a little fucking weird and I didn't feel guilty at all...
I don't even know you Steve, so how is that even possible? I'm sorry, but I'm also talking to other people, it's the name of the game. As soon as I joined Match, my brother made it really clear to me that I should do that and expect that being done to me. You can go on dates and date as many people as you want until you have that next step conversation; I'm sorry, but I don't think of anyone when I go to sleep, maybe just my cat, but that's it.
I looked back, it was three weeks ago that I had something about my blog on Twitter. He really looked through my tweets, because I tweet a lot... Then, here's where I started to get a little heated...
I'm still honestly so torn on what to say about the entire scenario, but actually not really at all. I felt him being genuine behind this all, but why would you admit to Googling me? That's just fucking weird! If I'm being totally honest with myself, I will openly tell you that I'm dating a guy and numerous people have asked me to see a picture of him, but I don't have one. So, one day, I found him on Facebook and showed my girlfriend. I could have just pulled up his Match profile, but it tells him that I was just looking at him, and I wanted to avoid that after how many other times I've looked at his profile. Other than that, Googling someone hasn't crossed my mind; and that's probably because of the fact that I've always dated guys from college, and I just didn't need to. Or maybe I trust too many people and that's just why I've gotten so burnt in the past... Is Googling something that I should be doing? What if you do this and find something you don't like about the person? How would you even begin that conversation? I guess I really think about it in a different perspective, but I really just don't want to.
As stated before, I just think of it in a sense of being violated; why did he feel the need to do this? Did he think I had something to hide? What I do on my own time, is what I want to do. Not to even mention the fact that we haven't even met... If he had any questions, I'd be willing to answer! I did tell him that I was a blogger and I wrote about menswear and dating advice, but he said nothing else, didn't ask any questions. With all the technology today, I really and truly feel like the art of conservation is failing; why is this? What is going to happen in the future? Will we not even know how to have a conversation? Will we only be able to communicate via text message and email? I truly fear for future generations and for my children, perhaps this is also the reason why I'm getting back into teaching English. I want to make sure children still know how to write without spell check, I want people to understand how important it is to write thank you notes, and people need to know how you should properly follow up after an interview. There are so many important life skills that start with knowing how to properly converse with another person, and so many future adults lack this skill already because of subbing in person conversation with technology. If I could help my students out one at a time, I'd be fine with that just to touch a couple souls and hopefully he/she passes that on to their friends and their children. I just want someone to get to know me by talking to me and not stalking me on my Facebook or the internet; is that too much to ask in a modern day society with all these resources around us?
Let me know your thoughts.
xox C
Sunday, August 11, 2013
The lovely world of Tinder - Part II
Hello! Good evening. I forewarned you on the last post that I'll be going on a little bit of a rant, so I really feel like it deserved it's own blog.
5. So I told you that I met one guy on Tinder. This guy, I'll call him Chris, seemed like boyfriend potential, can't lie about that one. We would talk a decent amount; he was a big family guy, had some fancy pants job in finance in NYC, played hockey, really made himself sound like a winner before even meeting him. The only con about Chris, was that he just got out of a relationship only four weeks ago, he did the breaking and so he said he was fine. I was away on vacation for a little while, so I had some time to talk to him before meeting up with him. So, as soon as I got back, I made plans to see what Chris was all about. We met at a sports bar in Madison, close to where I work. I get there and I didn't see him anywhere in sight; I wore neon so he could easily spot me, being the lady that I am. I start to text him and some 6'2 goon with his fathers blue oxford shirt and double pleat trousers came walking towards me; what the hell, this was him. Why would he wear his fathers shirt to a sports bar? If these were seriously his clothes that he wore to work, why didn't he change? He had plenty of time since he got off the train. (Side note- guys, having a good tailor is key to looking good. Fit is seriously insanely important, it can make cheap garments look good. I'll explain in another blog...) So, anyways, he comes over and gives me a big hug with some dark liquor that seems to be on the rocks. (Please don't spill on this dress, it's dry clean and brand new.) So, we find a table and sit down, and the fun begins...
I really just cringe whenever I replay this date in my mind. I was there for two hours and fifteen minutes; I had a beer and a half and he had five whiskey on the rocks. Five. Was he nervous? Was he an alcoholic? Was he trying to impress me of his drinking skills? There could be a million reasons why he did this, but whatever reason it was, it really didn't impress me at all. I say this because first dates are an impression on ones character, and what kind of impression was he trying to give me? I still can't figure it out, I really would love to get into his head.
Before I continue with this disaster date, I really had to speak to a couple of people to see if I was being a Puritan about this one. I simply posted a Facebook status asking others about how they thought would be an acceptable amount to drink on first date; I got a myriad of answers. These consisted of don't drink at all to let's get fucked up and find out what each other are really like because you can really find that out quickly after a couple of drinks. Where's a happy medium? I'm still a little unsure about how many drinks are acceptable, but what I do know after all of this, is that being shit hammered isn't exactly being a lady on the first date.
The vast majority of Chris and I's conversation was miserable. For the rest of my description of him, I'm just going to list short and sweet facts basically in the order of how the date went within the two hour and fifteen minute horror story date. I've really tried to block this all out of my mind, so this is the best I can do:
His name is Chris.
He's 26 and lives at home.
He asks for a second drink.
He was just in a relationship.
He thinks I'm so sexy.
He works in NYC.
He was a fuck up in college- he went to Univ. Vermont, County College, then F. Dickenson Univ.
He did a LOT of drugs in college.
He went into a really dark place in college.
He asks for another drink.
He had sex with "a lot" of girls in high school.
He said that guys used to want to fight him in the locker room in high school.
He thinks I'm really sexy.
He got with so many girls in high school.
He enjoys drinking.
He asks for another drink.
He thinks I'm smoking hot.
He thinks he's too smart for his job.
He hates his job.
He thinks I'm sexy.
He asks for another drink.
He met one other girl on Tinder- she was DTF. (down to fuck)
They took shots on their first date.
He has a minimum bar of standards before he sleeps with a girl. (Never found out what those were, maybe she just needed to be wearing shoes.)
He thinks I'm smoking hot.
He says he never slept with her.
He asks me one question about myself.
He compliments me in my dress.
He tells me to never cut my hair, ever for the sake of all men out there.
He asks for another drink.
He says he loves metal music.
He says he loves getting into mosh pits.
He makes fun of the fact that I like John Mayer.
He says he's going to take the guitar out of the live bands hand and just play metal for everyone since the current music sucks.
He's so good at playing guitar.
He asks me if I'd ever have a three sum. (Just in case you're wondering I told him no way WITHOUT slapping him right there in the middle of the bar.)
He says I don't look like the girl that would ever have a three sum.
He tells me if we were ever to have one, that he would want to see me enjoying it.
He says how hot I am.
He asks me a third question. (question two was the three sum.)
I tell him he has to go home because it's late.
He says he will "hate me forever" because I kept him out so late.
He makes fun of me for not finishing my beer.
So, the end of the date comes around and he offers to walk to me my car and I tell him no, but he does so anyways. He tries to put his hand around my waist the entire time to my car, and I awkwardly keep moving away so he keeps missing. When I get to my car, that awkward time at the end of the evening, he goes in for a kiss. Thank god I was a pro basketball player back in my day because my pump fake came in REAL handy right there to get out out that one. So, I got in my car and drove towards home and he stumbled back to his car with a case of crazy drunk eyes.
So, as soon as I get in my car, I see a text from another guy from Tinder telling me to come into Morristown because he's playing at a bar. I had such a bad date, that I said fuck it and decided to go...
In between the first two messages, I walked into the bar, and it was empty other than him and six other girls. Way to make a girl feel special, buddy.
...and then I really wasn't having it and let a little bitchy side out of me.
I guess all I really need to say about Stephen is that if you're going to be a player, get your game on straight, bro. As my good old friend from Jamaica (just think of the phrase with the accent) with a wife and girlfriend with two different phones says to me "play on playa..."
xox C
5. So I told you that I met one guy on Tinder. This guy, I'll call him Chris, seemed like boyfriend potential, can't lie about that one. We would talk a decent amount; he was a big family guy, had some fancy pants job in finance in NYC, played hockey, really made himself sound like a winner before even meeting him. The only con about Chris, was that he just got out of a relationship only four weeks ago, he did the breaking and so he said he was fine. I was away on vacation for a little while, so I had some time to talk to him before meeting up with him. So, as soon as I got back, I made plans to see what Chris was all about. We met at a sports bar in Madison, close to where I work. I get there and I didn't see him anywhere in sight; I wore neon so he could easily spot me, being the lady that I am. I start to text him and some 6'2 goon with his fathers blue oxford shirt and double pleat trousers came walking towards me; what the hell, this was him. Why would he wear his fathers shirt to a sports bar? If these were seriously his clothes that he wore to work, why didn't he change? He had plenty of time since he got off the train. (Side note- guys, having a good tailor is key to looking good. Fit is seriously insanely important, it can make cheap garments look good. I'll explain in another blog...) So, anyways, he comes over and gives me a big hug with some dark liquor that seems to be on the rocks. (Please don't spill on this dress, it's dry clean and brand new.) So, we find a table and sit down, and the fun begins...
I really just cringe whenever I replay this date in my mind. I was there for two hours and fifteen minutes; I had a beer and a half and he had five whiskey on the rocks. Five. Was he nervous? Was he an alcoholic? Was he trying to impress me of his drinking skills? There could be a million reasons why he did this, but whatever reason it was, it really didn't impress me at all. I say this because first dates are an impression on ones character, and what kind of impression was he trying to give me? I still can't figure it out, I really would love to get into his head.
Before I continue with this disaster date, I really had to speak to a couple of people to see if I was being a Puritan about this one. I simply posted a Facebook status asking others about how they thought would be an acceptable amount to drink on first date; I got a myriad of answers. These consisted of don't drink at all to let's get fucked up and find out what each other are really like because you can really find that out quickly after a couple of drinks. Where's a happy medium? I'm still a little unsure about how many drinks are acceptable, but what I do know after all of this, is that being shit hammered isn't exactly being a lady on the first date.
The vast majority of Chris and I's conversation was miserable. For the rest of my description of him, I'm just going to list short and sweet facts basically in the order of how the date went within the two hour and fifteen minute horror story date. I've really tried to block this all out of my mind, so this is the best I can do:
His name is Chris.
He's 26 and lives at home.
He asks for a second drink.
He was just in a relationship.
He thinks I'm so sexy.
He works in NYC.
He was a fuck up in college- he went to Univ. Vermont, County College, then F. Dickenson Univ.
He did a LOT of drugs in college.
He went into a really dark place in college.
He asks for another drink.
He had sex with "a lot" of girls in high school.
He said that guys used to want to fight him in the locker room in high school.
He thinks I'm really sexy.
He got with so many girls in high school.
He enjoys drinking.
He asks for another drink.
He thinks I'm smoking hot.
He thinks he's too smart for his job.
He hates his job.
He thinks I'm sexy.
He asks for another drink.
He met one other girl on Tinder- she was DTF. (down to fuck)
They took shots on their first date.
He has a minimum bar of standards before he sleeps with a girl. (Never found out what those were, maybe she just needed to be wearing shoes.)
He thinks I'm smoking hot.
He says he never slept with her.
He asks me one question about myself.
He compliments me in my dress.
He tells me to never cut my hair, ever for the sake of all men out there.
He asks for another drink.
He says he loves metal music.
He says he loves getting into mosh pits.
He makes fun of the fact that I like John Mayer.
He says he's going to take the guitar out of the live bands hand and just play metal for everyone since the current music sucks.
He's so good at playing guitar.
He asks me if I'd ever have a three sum. (Just in case you're wondering I told him no way WITHOUT slapping him right there in the middle of the bar.)
He says I don't look like the girl that would ever have a three sum.
He tells me if we were ever to have one, that he would want to see me enjoying it.
He says how hot I am.
He asks me a third question. (question two was the three sum.)
I tell him he has to go home because it's late.
He says he will "hate me forever" because I kept him out so late.
He makes fun of me for not finishing my beer.
So, the end of the date comes around and he offers to walk to me my car and I tell him no, but he does so anyways. He tries to put his hand around my waist the entire time to my car, and I awkwardly keep moving away so he keeps missing. When I get to my car, that awkward time at the end of the evening, he goes in for a kiss. Thank god I was a pro basketball player back in my day because my pump fake came in REAL handy right there to get out out that one. So, I got in my car and drove towards home and he stumbled back to his car with a case of crazy drunk eyes.
So, as soon as I get in my car, I see a text from another guy from Tinder telling me to come into Morristown because he's playing at a bar. I had such a bad date, that I said fuck it and decided to go...
6. Stephen
Stephen was one of the nice guys, seemed very down to Earth. I just got that good vibe from him without talking to him too too much. So, I got to Morristown and I had a little moment where I freaked out. What the fuck am I doing here? I'm alone and showing up to some guy I don't even knows concert. What if I hate him? What if he hates me? I don't even know how tall he is. (I'm 5'9 - I really can't do shorter, comfort thing.) What if he's a crazy guy? I should have talked to him more since my gut feeling was already off for the night. So, I decided to run to the ATM before I went into the bar; if I went to the ATM I would be able to pass the bar to see if people were actually in it, without going in before and embarrassing myself. So, I pass by, and some guy is indeed singing in a one man band there just as he told me. I go back to my car, just to take a deep breath because I really felt like I was doing something way too crazy for who I normally am and this happens:
Stephen was one of the nice guys, seemed very down to Earth. I just got that good vibe from him without talking to him too too much. So, I got to Morristown and I had a little moment where I freaked out. What the fuck am I doing here? I'm alone and showing up to some guy I don't even knows concert. What if I hate him? What if he hates me? I don't even know how tall he is. (I'm 5'9 - I really can't do shorter, comfort thing.) What if he's a crazy guy? I should have talked to him more since my gut feeling was already off for the night. So, I decided to run to the ATM before I went into the bar; if I went to the ATM I would be able to pass the bar to see if people were actually in it, without going in before and embarrassing myself. So, I pass by, and some guy is indeed singing in a one man band there just as he told me. I go back to my car, just to take a deep breath because I really felt like I was doing something way too crazy for who I normally am and this happens:
In between the first two messages, I walked into the bar, and it was empty other than him and six other girls. Way to make a girl feel special, buddy.
I guess all I really need to say about Stephen is that if you're going to be a player, get your game on straight, bro. As my good old friend from Jamaica (just think of the phrase with the accent) with a wife and girlfriend with two different phones says to me "play on playa..."
xox C
The lovely world of Tinder - Part I
This is the first blog post that I don't even know where to begin; this really has been one in the making.
So, for you all that do not know, Tinder is a dating application used on smartphones. The jist of the application is something like this: you have a maximum of four pictures, you can write a couple sentence biography underneath your photo, it's really a vain application (in my opinion), GPS locates where you are, and you're matched up with males or females in an age range of your choice. If you like someone's photos, you swipe your finger to the right and if you don't like someone's photos, you swipe to the left. When you do like someone and he/she likes you, you're "matched" and you're given an opportunity to message each other. It's a interesting program, don't get me wrong, but not so great people are on it.
When I say not so great people are on it, I say not the kinda people (for the most part- some of my great girlfriends are on it, and of course I'm on it.) you're going to bring home to mom and dad are on it. If you're looking to just hook up with someone, then you're on the right dating application. So, me looking for a relationship and not just a hook up, perhaps I should have steered clear from the application from the start. I have met one person from Tinder, and the experience was so bad that I would never use the application ever again. Let me give you seven solid scenarios, and perhaps you'll be able to hear me out and get a kick out of it.
Where to I begin? Which story is the worst? Most of them are just funny messages, I could only screen shot, so I'll just post screen shots with witty side comments. Apparently last time I did that, it was quite the hit. Please note the time of day for some of these messages.
1.
... Was this actually real life? I need to meet one of the girls that actually said yes.
2.
... I should have said something like sorry, I don't wash my hair because I don't have any and I'm going through chemotherapy. Something to make him feel like the compete asshole that he is.
3.
Too bad I don't need a green card.
4.
The next two are people that I actually met. Those are actually the more interesting ones, ones that raised a couple questions about the society that we live in today and would just be too long for one blog.
Until then
xox C
So, for you all that do not know, Tinder is a dating application used on smartphones. The jist of the application is something like this: you have a maximum of four pictures, you can write a couple sentence biography underneath your photo, it's really a vain application (in my opinion), GPS locates where you are, and you're matched up with males or females in an age range of your choice. If you like someone's photos, you swipe your finger to the right and if you don't like someone's photos, you swipe to the left. When you do like someone and he/she likes you, you're "matched" and you're given an opportunity to message each other. It's a interesting program, don't get me wrong, but not so great people are on it.
When I say not so great people are on it, I say not the kinda people (for the most part- some of my great girlfriends are on it, and of course I'm on it.) you're going to bring home to mom and dad are on it. If you're looking to just hook up with someone, then you're on the right dating application. So, me looking for a relationship and not just a hook up, perhaps I should have steered clear from the application from the start. I have met one person from Tinder, and the experience was so bad that I would never use the application ever again. Let me give you seven solid scenarios, and perhaps you'll be able to hear me out and get a kick out of it.
Where to I begin? Which story is the worst? Most of them are just funny messages, I could only screen shot, so I'll just post screen shots with witty side comments. Apparently last time I did that, it was quite the hit. Please note the time of day for some of these messages.
1.
... Was this actually real life? I need to meet one of the girls that actually said yes.
2.
... I should have said something like sorry, I don't wash my hair because I don't have any and I'm going through chemotherapy. Something to make him feel like the compete asshole that he is.
3.
4.
Other than the fact that he has the same name as my brother, I gotta give him points on getting creative, but really? That's all you're going to talk to me about? I just lost interest.
5. I wish I was able to post voice messages or record stuff on here. It would really make it that much more interesting. I was talking to a guy, seemed like a really sweet guy, so I gave him my number. Then he started getting stalkerish/too nice (is that possible)/just straight up bad weird and left me this voicemail after talking to him for two days:
***Before you read this, I replayed the voicemail about 10 times so it was spot on:
"Hey Courtney, this is Julian... I know that you said I think you were going away or something, but figured I would try my luck anyways because I kicked some ass today. I'm very proud of myself, I dove into my work, (he's an entrepreneur, another word for unemployed loser, 95% of the time.) I hired an amazing employee for my team. I also accomplished some of those tasks, you know, that you've putting off for a long time and procrasenating. Well, I not only did I attack them, I tore through them like a hungry animal and I wanted to reward myself with some Courtney time. Perhaps I can tempt you with some fine wine, dancing in the park, the moonlight, um no ah just wanted to say hello. Now you can finally match a voice to the face; hopefully talk soon."
... :shakes head:
... :shakes head:
The next two are people that I actually met. Those are actually the more interesting ones, ones that raised a couple questions about the society that we live in today and would just be too long for one blog.
Until then
xox C
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
When is it an appropriate time to go over to a gentleman's abode?
When is it an appropriate time to go over to a gentleman's abode? Everyone may have different opinions on this one, and you may find mine a little old fashioned, but that's just who I am, as a lady.
***DISCLAIMER - There is a story after a little introduction... ***
I was always raised in a household that if I was to get pregnant before I was married, I would thrown out and disowned; it's just how my mom was raised, she wanted to enforce that with me, and she probably wanted to scare the living shit out of me, which it actually did.
Dating when you're out of college is, of course, going to be different than dating when you're living and working in the professional world. I've had two long term relationships in the last four years, so dating has been a little different and somewhat new for me since I have only been out of college for two years. Transitioning from going to Chilli's with that guy that you made out with in the lacrosse house basement to meeting up at a local byob with a guy that you met online from Match.com are two totally different dating scieneros that come with a lot of different things.
Going in a date with said hottie from the lax house could be a lot more uncomfortable than going on a date when you're outside of college, for reasons I will begin to reveal.
While in college, when I was a freshman, I went to the infamous lacrosse house more times than I should. (we didn't have frats at my college, so sports houses were the place to be.) I remember seeing this guy, and it was seriously love at first sight. He was tall, he was handsome, he knew how to dress, he was the ideal man for me to go up and talk to based on his physical appearance and my physical demands. I noticed he was holding onto his North Face jacket awkwardly, and so I went up to him and asked if he wanted to me hold his jacket. (Good one, right?) This immediately ensued a conversation between us. I held his coat while he played beer pong and he had to come find me at the end of the night, which was great for me. At the end of the night, he got his jacket and I only got his name. I was devastated, but I was pretty shy, fresh out of high school at the time, and had absolutely no game. The week after or two weeks, I really couldn't tell you, it was my birthday and I went back to the lacrosse house in hopes to see Mr. North Face. (I promise this story has a point.) So, decked out in my slutty birthday's best, I saw Mr. North Face from a far. It was my 19th birthday, so of course I was several Keystone Light's deep. (Pennsylvania underage beer of choice) We chatted, he approved of the slutty birthday attire, I found out his name and a phone number, maybe I got a couple kisses or two. I guess I ended up being so drunk that I missed my ride, so Mr. North Face drove me home, being the southern gentleman that he was. In the midst of him driving me home, I felt the need to (what's the lady like word for puking?) barf my brains out. I ended up sticking my head out the window and gracefully puked on the side of his car and of course in my hair. At the end of all of this, he wanted to take me out to dinner. Why would he want to take me out to dinner when I just ralphed all over his Honda civic that his parents bought him for joining the military academy? And so, the next morning, he took me out to lunch for a stuffy and uncomfortable first date.
After that date, I never really had a formal "date" in college before I got into a relationship with someone. Dates in college would include going to the dining hall and having him swipe for you or going over to "watch a movie." Dates just really didn't exist in college; Why was this? Was I meeting the wrong men? Was this because no one really had means of transportation where I went to college? And so, dating was somewhat non existent for myself and my college girlfriends. (I double checked on this one to make sure I wasn't the only one missing out within my school and others.). The first date with Mr. North Face felt so stiff and uncomfortable, more so than a typical first date. Maybe it was because I was so hungover, but it just didn't have a natural and comfortable flow like dates do now a days for me. (I ended up dating Mr. North Face for nearly a year, so clearly it wasn't a chemistry issue.) So, after this date, many others, Mr. North Face and I parted ways. After this, I just ended up going to guys rooms to hang out and get to know them before dating them offically. After seeing a guy and getting into a relationship, would we go out to dinner every week or so, and that was always a huge deal, quick trips to King of Prussia Mall for a new outfit. It was just more natural and comfortable to sit on a couch and have a conversation with a guy in his room than going out to dinner at that point in my life and many other girlfriends I've spoken to agree. All of a sudden when you become a college graduate this all becomes unacceptable and "unlady like."
I say going over to a guys house on a first date is "unlady like" because it is in the real world. The message you portray to your potential suitor is that you're DTF. (DTF = down to fuck; straight up Jersey Shore verbiage here.) If you're a male or a female and disagree, I would love to know your reasoning. Why is this not right to do suddenly because you're out of college? Why do we have to get dressed up and act like adults for a first date? Perhaps this is what our society standards tell us to do, or maybe it's just our moral standards; maybe some of you don't even have moral standards. So when is it "proper" to go and watch a movie or whatever you want to call it at a guys house? Second date? After the first date goes well? A third date? I truly believe in whatever you decide, that it sends a message to your potential mate- positive or negative, you make that choice. Now here's where the story of my opinions becomes real life...
Early on, when I first joined Match, I ended up talking to a guy that knew a lot of the same people I knew; in one of his match profile pictures, he had a couple of girls that I went to high school with, and so I figured he was a normal guy. This guy, lets call him... Craig. (first short name I thought of, probably because my cousin just married a Craig the other day! Congrats again!). When I think about it, he does look like a Craig. For now on, when talking about guys I meet, I will just use names that I think they really look like. So, Craig and I talked for a couple days, he seemed like a great guy, but I wasn't too sure if I was sexually attracted to him based on his pictures; I was willing to keep an open mind because of the mutual friends that we had, which would make him a without a doubt solid guy. He was a nice guy, but he wasn't educated, yet he had a good job; still don't know if that's a dealbreaker for me... So, anyway, one night I was out with a girlfriend and he was going to the same bar as me, so we decided we would casually meet up for a drink, even though we originally planned for dinner another day. Like I said, this was early in in my Match career, so I had serious anxiety before seeing Craig that night. I actually ignored his texts and before I was going to leave the bar, I told him what I was wearing, so if he didn't find me I could have blamed it on him. He ended up finding me. He ended up running over to me, and was so sweet; he bought a drink for me and one for my girlfriend. We danced for a little bit with his friends and my friend, it was pleasant. (Notice how excited I am in my word choice.) When it was time to leave, he hugged me goodbye, kissed me on the cheek, and we said we would plan to do dinner soon. I thought that he was nice enough, so when he would have asked, I would say yes to a dinner date if he wanted to see me again. (so weird- sometimes you meet up with someone, they say let's hang out again, then I never hear from them; 9 out of 10 times, I never actually want to see them again.) So, I waited for him to text me, probably mainly because I wasn't so into him. (Side note, when I'm into a guy, I don't mess around, I don't really have shame in my game anymore at my old age.) So, Craig texted me one Saturday night, and we were going back and forth, talking about pointless things, and I said to him do you want to plan date for this coming week. He told me he was very busy, too busy to do dinner, (considering his profession, he had more than enough time, trust me.) but he said I could come over and "watch a movie." I considered the idea at first, especially since he seemed like he was a good guy, but I ended up telling him that I really wasn't comfortable with that idea since we only met at a bar for 45 minutes. I also casually included that I was on Match for a relationship, and that I wasn't looking just to hook up with someone, like most people my age. I'm just at the point and time in my life that I'd rather be brutally honest than beat around the bush. So, I told him something like hey, I'm really not that kinda girl to just come over after barely knowing you, I have brothers, I know what your intentions are. (I threw in a smilie face and an lol to make the conversation less serious.) He immediately got offended and made the conversation about himself and how he's "not that kinda guy." While explaining himself via text message (I really should have kept these messages; too bad this was weeks ago.) He said something like I'm not like everyone else you meet (yeah, we all say that, kid.) I'm a good guy (yeah, I bet you are, but you have a dick and a pulse.) and he immediately tried to make me uncomfortable for my moral decision making! Just respect my decision on saying no to coming over your house! We didn't even have a first date; after all, he promised me dinner and isn't that how things should go in the "real world?" Conflicted with my morals and society standards, we ended up legitimately getting into a screaming match over text message. He just "wasn't like that" and he "wouldn't do anything" I'm sorry dude, but you're asking me to come over and watch a movie; that's code for hooking up- In college, when my boyfriend would come over and I wanted my roommate to leave me alone, I told her I was going to watch the movie Up; I'm a chick and I even use this shitty line too. So, Craig and I never resolved our issues, and I really was just over it and didn't even want to get a free meal out of him. He just couldn't respect my lady like decision on saying no to coming over at midnight on a weekday to "watch a movie," like come on now... Am I crazy for thinking otherwise? I have brothers!
So, I didn't talk to Craig for weeks, I figured I was in the clear. Two weeks ago, he messaged me on Facebook, and said he had to do some real detective work to find me on Facebook; he didn't have my number anymore because his phone died or some other shitty explanation. He also asked me if I had his number still, and unfortunately I kept it incase it randomly called one day, and then I would know not to answer. I told him he should have just messaged me on Match, but he said he got rid of his Match account because he was going through some "personal things." He didn't even apologize for his actions from prior, and I would be kissing my own ass if I were him. And so he asked me if I wanted to hang out, and I joking said to him "maybe, as long as it's not at your place, ha." And he flipped out on me AGAIN! The dude couldn't let it up! I just couldn't answer at that point, I didn't want to deal with this dick anymore. I told him I had to go and he told me I should text him with plans to hang out in time to come; and of course, I never did.
While in California last week, I would check Facebook from time to time, and so I came across a Facebook Status a little something like this:
"Every time I get a new girlfriend, gotta buy some new suits." Checked in a Jos A. Banks.
Two things immediately came to mind that are wrong with this scienero:
1. Jos A. Banks- Really? You're 25 and need to wear a suit everyday to work, step it up to at least Hugo Boss, you make over 100k a year.
2. Girlfriend- :hits the unfriend button: (that thought really did come second)
Two of morals to the story:
1. All guys are the same. Craig, the scumbag, told me he got off Match for "personal reasons," personal reasons being you got a fucking girlfriend. My man wanted one last shot to hit it, he had nothing to lose with hitting me up, because of this other pussy in tow. I don't care how genuine you guys are, sometimes you could be, but you have a dick and a pulse; and to be honest, and you're not the only ones that are trying to get it.
2. Where you want a relationship to go begins with how you present yourself to your mate. Society "real life" standards for dating are standards in their own. While in college, these standards should not be replicated in the real world, unless you don't plan on being a lady, which isn't a path I could enlighten you about. Clearly, when Craig did not respect my decision not to come over from square one, and I should have kicked his ass to the curb. If he was a gentleman, he would have not made a such a fuss and maybe we would be talking. (Highly doubt it.) I guess just be a lady if you want the right kinda guy to holler back.
That's all for now
Xox C
***DISCLAIMER - There is a story after a little introduction... ***
I was always raised in a household that if I was to get pregnant before I was married, I would thrown out and disowned; it's just how my mom was raised, she wanted to enforce that with me, and she probably wanted to scare the living shit out of me, which it actually did.
Dating when you're out of college is, of course, going to be different than dating when you're living and working in the professional world. I've had two long term relationships in the last four years, so dating has been a little different and somewhat new for me since I have only been out of college for two years. Transitioning from going to Chilli's with that guy that you made out with in the lacrosse house basement to meeting up at a local byob with a guy that you met online from Match.com are two totally different dating scieneros that come with a lot of different things.
Going in a date with said hottie from the lax house could be a lot more uncomfortable than going on a date when you're outside of college, for reasons I will begin to reveal.
While in college, when I was a freshman, I went to the infamous lacrosse house more times than I should. (we didn't have frats at my college, so sports houses were the place to be.) I remember seeing this guy, and it was seriously love at first sight. He was tall, he was handsome, he knew how to dress, he was the ideal man for me to go up and talk to based on his physical appearance and my physical demands. I noticed he was holding onto his North Face jacket awkwardly, and so I went up to him and asked if he wanted to me hold his jacket. (Good one, right?) This immediately ensued a conversation between us. I held his coat while he played beer pong and he had to come find me at the end of the night, which was great for me. At the end of the night, he got his jacket and I only got his name. I was devastated, but I was pretty shy, fresh out of high school at the time, and had absolutely no game. The week after or two weeks, I really couldn't tell you, it was my birthday and I went back to the lacrosse house in hopes to see Mr. North Face. (I promise this story has a point.) So, decked out in my slutty birthday's best, I saw Mr. North Face from a far. It was my 19th birthday, so of course I was several Keystone Light's deep. (Pennsylvania underage beer of choice) We chatted, he approved of the slutty birthday attire, I found out his name and a phone number, maybe I got a couple kisses or two. I guess I ended up being so drunk that I missed my ride, so Mr. North Face drove me home, being the southern gentleman that he was. In the midst of him driving me home, I felt the need to (what's the lady like word for puking?) barf my brains out. I ended up sticking my head out the window and gracefully puked on the side of his car and of course in my hair. At the end of all of this, he wanted to take me out to dinner. Why would he want to take me out to dinner when I just ralphed all over his Honda civic that his parents bought him for joining the military academy? And so, the next morning, he took me out to lunch for a stuffy and uncomfortable first date.
After that date, I never really had a formal "date" in college before I got into a relationship with someone. Dates in college would include going to the dining hall and having him swipe for you or going over to "watch a movie." Dates just really didn't exist in college; Why was this? Was I meeting the wrong men? Was this because no one really had means of transportation where I went to college? And so, dating was somewhat non existent for myself and my college girlfriends. (I double checked on this one to make sure I wasn't the only one missing out within my school and others.). The first date with Mr. North Face felt so stiff and uncomfortable, more so than a typical first date. Maybe it was because I was so hungover, but it just didn't have a natural and comfortable flow like dates do now a days for me. (I ended up dating Mr. North Face for nearly a year, so clearly it wasn't a chemistry issue.) So, after this date, many others, Mr. North Face and I parted ways. After this, I just ended up going to guys rooms to hang out and get to know them before dating them offically. After seeing a guy and getting into a relationship, would we go out to dinner every week or so, and that was always a huge deal, quick trips to King of Prussia Mall for a new outfit. It was just more natural and comfortable to sit on a couch and have a conversation with a guy in his room than going out to dinner at that point in my life and many other girlfriends I've spoken to agree. All of a sudden when you become a college graduate this all becomes unacceptable and "unlady like."
I say going over to a guys house on a first date is "unlady like" because it is in the real world. The message you portray to your potential suitor is that you're DTF. (DTF = down to fuck; straight up Jersey Shore verbiage here.) If you're a male or a female and disagree, I would love to know your reasoning. Why is this not right to do suddenly because you're out of college? Why do we have to get dressed up and act like adults for a first date? Perhaps this is what our society standards tell us to do, or maybe it's just our moral standards; maybe some of you don't even have moral standards. So when is it "proper" to go and watch a movie or whatever you want to call it at a guys house? Second date? After the first date goes well? A third date? I truly believe in whatever you decide, that it sends a message to your potential mate- positive or negative, you make that choice. Now here's where the story of my opinions becomes real life...
Early on, when I first joined Match, I ended up talking to a guy that knew a lot of the same people I knew; in one of his match profile pictures, he had a couple of girls that I went to high school with, and so I figured he was a normal guy. This guy, lets call him... Craig. (first short name I thought of, probably because my cousin just married a Craig the other day! Congrats again!). When I think about it, he does look like a Craig. For now on, when talking about guys I meet, I will just use names that I think they really look like. So, Craig and I talked for a couple days, he seemed like a great guy, but I wasn't too sure if I was sexually attracted to him based on his pictures; I was willing to keep an open mind because of the mutual friends that we had, which would make him a without a doubt solid guy. He was a nice guy, but he wasn't educated, yet he had a good job; still don't know if that's a dealbreaker for me... So, anyway, one night I was out with a girlfriend and he was going to the same bar as me, so we decided we would casually meet up for a drink, even though we originally planned for dinner another day. Like I said, this was early in in my Match career, so I had serious anxiety before seeing Craig that night. I actually ignored his texts and before I was going to leave the bar, I told him what I was wearing, so if he didn't find me I could have blamed it on him. He ended up finding me. He ended up running over to me, and was so sweet; he bought a drink for me and one for my girlfriend. We danced for a little bit with his friends and my friend, it was pleasant. (Notice how excited I am in my word choice.) When it was time to leave, he hugged me goodbye, kissed me on the cheek, and we said we would plan to do dinner soon. I thought that he was nice enough, so when he would have asked, I would say yes to a dinner date if he wanted to see me again. (so weird- sometimes you meet up with someone, they say let's hang out again, then I never hear from them; 9 out of 10 times, I never actually want to see them again.) So, I waited for him to text me, probably mainly because I wasn't so into him. (Side note, when I'm into a guy, I don't mess around, I don't really have shame in my game anymore at my old age.) So, Craig texted me one Saturday night, and we were going back and forth, talking about pointless things, and I said to him do you want to plan date for this coming week. He told me he was very busy, too busy to do dinner, (considering his profession, he had more than enough time, trust me.) but he said I could come over and "watch a movie." I considered the idea at first, especially since he seemed like he was a good guy, but I ended up telling him that I really wasn't comfortable with that idea since we only met at a bar for 45 minutes. I also casually included that I was on Match for a relationship, and that I wasn't looking just to hook up with someone, like most people my age. I'm just at the point and time in my life that I'd rather be brutally honest than beat around the bush. So, I told him something like hey, I'm really not that kinda girl to just come over after barely knowing you, I have brothers, I know what your intentions are. (I threw in a smilie face and an lol to make the conversation less serious.) He immediately got offended and made the conversation about himself and how he's "not that kinda guy." While explaining himself via text message (I really should have kept these messages; too bad this was weeks ago.) He said something like I'm not like everyone else you meet (yeah, we all say that, kid.) I'm a good guy (yeah, I bet you are, but you have a dick and a pulse.) and he immediately tried to make me uncomfortable for my moral decision making! Just respect my decision on saying no to coming over your house! We didn't even have a first date; after all, he promised me dinner and isn't that how things should go in the "real world?" Conflicted with my morals and society standards, we ended up legitimately getting into a screaming match over text message. He just "wasn't like that" and he "wouldn't do anything" I'm sorry dude, but you're asking me to come over and watch a movie; that's code for hooking up- In college, when my boyfriend would come over and I wanted my roommate to leave me alone, I told her I was going to watch the movie Up; I'm a chick and I even use this shitty line too. So, Craig and I never resolved our issues, and I really was just over it and didn't even want to get a free meal out of him. He just couldn't respect my lady like decision on saying no to coming over at midnight on a weekday to "watch a movie," like come on now... Am I crazy for thinking otherwise? I have brothers!
So, I didn't talk to Craig for weeks, I figured I was in the clear. Two weeks ago, he messaged me on Facebook, and said he had to do some real detective work to find me on Facebook; he didn't have my number anymore because his phone died or some other shitty explanation. He also asked me if I had his number still, and unfortunately I kept it incase it randomly called one day, and then I would know not to answer. I told him he should have just messaged me on Match, but he said he got rid of his Match account because he was going through some "personal things." He didn't even apologize for his actions from prior, and I would be kissing my own ass if I were him. And so he asked me if I wanted to hang out, and I joking said to him "maybe, as long as it's not at your place, ha." And he flipped out on me AGAIN! The dude couldn't let it up! I just couldn't answer at that point, I didn't want to deal with this dick anymore. I told him I had to go and he told me I should text him with plans to hang out in time to come; and of course, I never did.
While in California last week, I would check Facebook from time to time, and so I came across a Facebook Status a little something like this:
"Every time I get a new girlfriend, gotta buy some new suits." Checked in a Jos A. Banks.
Two things immediately came to mind that are wrong with this scienero:
1. Jos A. Banks- Really? You're 25 and need to wear a suit everyday to work, step it up to at least Hugo Boss, you make over 100k a year.
2. Girlfriend- :hits the unfriend button: (that thought really did come second)
Two of morals to the story:
1. All guys are the same. Craig, the scumbag, told me he got off Match for "personal reasons," personal reasons being you got a fucking girlfriend. My man wanted one last shot to hit it, he had nothing to lose with hitting me up, because of this other pussy in tow. I don't care how genuine you guys are, sometimes you could be, but you have a dick and a pulse; and to be honest, and you're not the only ones that are trying to get it.
2. Where you want a relationship to go begins with how you present yourself to your mate. Society "real life" standards for dating are standards in their own. While in college, these standards should not be replicated in the real world, unless you don't plan on being a lady, which isn't a path I could enlighten you about. Clearly, when Craig did not respect my decision not to come over from square one, and I should have kicked his ass to the curb. If he was a gentleman, he would have not made a such a fuss and maybe we would be talking. (Highly doubt it.) I guess just be a lady if you want the right kinda guy to holler back.
That's all for now
Xox C
Friday, July 26, 2013
Gents, this is not a good idea
Before I leave you all for the Sun Shine State, please note this: buying a suit from Groupon in no way shape or form is a good idea.
... Polyester and rayon, oh my.
Xox C
... Polyester and rayon, oh my.
Xox C
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Just a couple of assholes that will make you feel sane today
Happy Hump Day to you all. It's Wednesday, it's a little slow out there, so I figured you all need a little bit of humor in your life. Two and a half days before the weekend, you don't want to do any type of work, we all know how it goes. (Especially me- I'm jetted off to Cali on Saturday, 4 am, black car is going to be in my driveway to NWK)
Unfortunately, some of the best messages I've received on Match.com are long gone, but I got a couple of goodies for you to make you feel sane. Maybe, if you're a guy, and need some new lines, you can throw some of these around and see where the conversation leads; but, you'll know that I won't respond well. Some days when you're really feeling fucking weird, (i.e. you're on Tinder, talking to a guy for five minutes, he asks you to come over for a date on his couch, he lives with his mom, lives in a really sketchy area, you haven't gotten any in a while, he looks cute, and you really just wanna say fuck it... [not me, my friend just did that last night; I should post her story, I guess she's a little more open minded, ha]) you just got to look around you and realize there's a lot more crazy people out there than you think...
Dear Trevor,
I love when people message me without pictures. I actually wrote don't even bother to message me if you don't have a picture in your profile; thanks for being a gentleman and actually reading my profile. (Sarcasm) You could be my cousin, you could be a stalker that follows me around in the mall, you could be my future husband (come on now) who knows! Plus, you'll pay, Jesus what a gentleman, count me in for sure, bro. I wonder how tall you are... I can't wait to be enemies...
Dear Trenton Boy,
Do you need a napkin? That line is really going to make me fall in love.
Dear guy who knows Kirsten (class act who I lived with for two years),
You messaged me a novel beforehand, I didn't answer, then after three days you message me this, you think that I will actually answer? THEN! I don't answer that and you message me "BOO!" Yeah, I'm really going to answer a grown man when he says boo, just so scared, please come over and cuddle with me...
Dear Dominicano,
You stole my heart, please be my man with your lovely usage of "their." Did you go to high school?
Dear Mr. Rockaway,
I'm actually insanely boring and like to do absolutely nothing. You have a great way with words though, let's meet up and do some fun hobby stuff.
Dear Mr. I just moved to Philly,
I appreciate the kindness in your genuinely written note, but people pay me for my fashion advice. I don't even know you, you never took me to dinner, so ya ain't getting free advice from someone who works for the best; sorry. FYI- Keep shopping at Walmart, because clearly the pictures in your clothes are not even those brands that you listed.
Dr. Mr. Please talk to me & I make millions,
I don't even know where to begin with this message. Quick background behind the story- Said guy sent me this message and two weeks later he sent me THE SAME MESSAGE. (enclosed below)
So, I was angry; I'm allowed to be angry. That dude is messaging everyone on Match the same generic message, seriously! (Little did I know that my cousin got the same exact message) The name of the game is you message me, ask little q&a about me, and try to woo me. Clearly I'm not wooed by your millions, I can date my clients if I really want a sugar daddy. Anyways, I messaged him back with something like this because I was probably PMSing:
Hi,
I don't want your millions, I want someone who can write a well written message. You sent me this message not once, but twice, please don't contact me again. Good luck on Match.
He says something like this back: (Please note the paragraph form, delightfully sophisticated once again)
Hi
You are harassing me. I make millions it is an accomplishment. why are you mad?
Please talk to me.
Can we have a good conversation now?
Are you okay now?
... I roll my eyes and click delete.
Last one for today, this one clearly takes the cake, and he will tell you jokes better than I'll ever be able to tell. Just read...
Dear Mr. Jokester,
You started off right and very charming. Then you ended with terrible, terrible jokes. Nice try, pal.
xox C
Unfortunately, some of the best messages I've received on Match.com are long gone, but I got a couple of goodies for you to make you feel sane. Maybe, if you're a guy, and need some new lines, you can throw some of these around and see where the conversation leads; but, you'll know that I won't respond well. Some days when you're really feeling fucking weird, (i.e. you're on Tinder, talking to a guy for five minutes, he asks you to come over for a date on his couch, he lives with his mom, lives in a really sketchy area, you haven't gotten any in a while, he looks cute, and you really just wanna say fuck it... [not me, my friend just did that last night; I should post her story, I guess she's a little more open minded, ha]) you just got to look around you and realize there's a lot more crazy people out there than you think...
Dear Trevor,
I love when people message me without pictures. I actually wrote don't even bother to message me if you don't have a picture in your profile; thanks for being a gentleman and actually reading my profile. (Sarcasm) You could be my cousin, you could be a stalker that follows me around in the mall, you could be my future husband (come on now) who knows! Plus, you'll pay, Jesus what a gentleman, count me in for sure, bro. I wonder how tall you are... I can't wait to be enemies...
Dear Trenton Boy,
Do you need a napkin? That line is really going to make me fall in love.
Dear guy who knows Kirsten (class act who I lived with for two years),
You messaged me a novel beforehand, I didn't answer, then after three days you message me this, you think that I will actually answer? THEN! I don't answer that and you message me "BOO!" Yeah, I'm really going to answer a grown man when he says boo, just so scared, please come over and cuddle with me...
Dear Dominicano,
You stole my heart, please be my man with your lovely usage of "their." Did you go to high school?
Dear Mr. Rockaway,
I'm actually insanely boring and like to do absolutely nothing. You have a great way with words though, let's meet up and do some fun hobby stuff.
Dear Mr. I just moved to Philly,
I appreciate the kindness in your genuinely written note, but people pay me for my fashion advice. I don't even know you, you never took me to dinner, so ya ain't getting free advice from someone who works for the best; sorry. FYI- Keep shopping at Walmart, because clearly the pictures in your clothes are not even those brands that you listed.
Dear some fucking bum,
I really hate logo tee shirts; you're 30 years old, really you shouldn't be wearing them, and of course the gym is understandable. If you don't go to the gym and look like a hot mess after, you're not doing it right. By the way, men should be wearing red pants and pocket squares. That's probably why you're not meeting the classiest of girls. You made me so mad I couldn't answer (I legitimately could not answer him)... UH I DRESS UP BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO LOOK LIKE A FUCKING BUM, JUST LIKE YOU! :) good day, sir.
Dr. Mr. Please talk to me & I make millions,
I don't even know where to begin with this message. Quick background behind the story- Said guy sent me this message and two weeks later he sent me THE SAME MESSAGE. (enclosed below)
Hi,
I don't want your millions, I want someone who can write a well written message. You sent me this message not once, but twice, please don't contact me again. Good luck on Match.
He says something like this back: (Please note the paragraph form, delightfully sophisticated once again)
Hi
You are harassing me. I make millions it is an accomplishment. why are you mad?
Please talk to me.
Can we have a good conversation now?
Are you okay now?
... I roll my eyes and click delete.
Last one for today, this one clearly takes the cake, and he will tell you jokes better than I'll ever be able to tell. Just read...
You started off right and very charming. Then you ended with terrible, terrible jokes. Nice try, pal.
xox C
Monday, July 22, 2013
Guys who send nudes to girls they just met an hour ago are indeed manwhores.
Hello, hello and happy Monday to you all. I've gotten such great reviews from friends and friends of friends about my blog in the last couple of days, very happy about it; especially the last blog with the guy I almost went on a date with, shoe guy. I do have another excellent story, so I really feel the need to post this so you all get my sense of humor. I'm a lady who loves her sarcasm. Just think by hearing this story, it will make you understand what I'm trying to say a little bit more in works to come in my blog.
This is another Match.com horror story, but a little but more humorous and a lot more sass on my part. Like I said prior, sometimes ladies are allowed to get bitchy in particular situations.
I started talking to a guy for couple days via Match Messaging. The conversation was going well, he asked me to dinner, I agreed, gave him my number. Let's call him Eric; he actually kinda looked like an Eric in his pictures. (Just you wait) The first text Eric sends me goes a little like this... (Expect, I will not post bad grammar on his behalf.)
Eric: So I re-read your Match.com profile are you're really judgmental.
Me: Why's that, I'm simply just stating what I want in a guy, that's kinda the point for the "about me" section.
Eric: I don't know why you won't date someone that's not over 5'9.
Me: Uh, it's a comfort thing? I want to be comfortable, is that too much to ask?
Eric: I'm a great guy and you're just judging the shit out of me right now.
Me: How tall are you?
Eric: About 5'9
Me: Okay, well, the same height is fine, I can do that, I just honestly like taller.
Eric: You're still judging the shit out of me.
Me: Can you stop it already?
Maybe I should have picked up on this red light a little earlier...
Kept talking to Eric, just about little things, assumed (there was my second mistake) he was normal, and I figured I should give him a shot, maybe we just got off on the wrong foot. Not even an hour into our conversation it starts getting a little weird. Eric texts me "I hope this makes your day." Enclosed is this:
...For real dude? (Side note- horrible wallpaper, seriously?) I didn't even ask for this, I don't know why you would send me this. Even though I would love to post his asshole face, I have refrained for his sake. To prove he was a true asshole, the rest of this blog will be continued via screen shots.
Please note that after he send me the picture, I did not respond for a couple of days. Made it REAL awkward for him. ;)
I told you not to piss me off...
xox C
This is another Match.com horror story, but a little but more humorous and a lot more sass on my part. Like I said prior, sometimes ladies are allowed to get bitchy in particular situations.
I started talking to a guy for couple days via Match Messaging. The conversation was going well, he asked me to dinner, I agreed, gave him my number. Let's call him Eric; he actually kinda looked like an Eric in his pictures. (Just you wait) The first text Eric sends me goes a little like this... (Expect, I will not post bad grammar on his behalf.)
Eric: So I re-read your Match.com profile are you're really judgmental.
Me: Why's that, I'm simply just stating what I want in a guy, that's kinda the point for the "about me" section.
Eric: I don't know why you won't date someone that's not over 5'9.
Me: Uh, it's a comfort thing? I want to be comfortable, is that too much to ask?
Eric: I'm a great guy and you're just judging the shit out of me right now.
Me: How tall are you?
Eric: About 5'9
Me: Okay, well, the same height is fine, I can do that, I just honestly like taller.
Eric: You're still judging the shit out of me.
Me: Can you stop it already?
Maybe I should have picked up on this red light a little earlier...
Kept talking to Eric, just about little things, assumed (there was my second mistake) he was normal, and I figured I should give him a shot, maybe we just got off on the wrong foot. Not even an hour into our conversation it starts getting a little weird. Eric texts me "I hope this makes your day." Enclosed is this:
...For real dude? (Side note- horrible wallpaper, seriously?) I didn't even ask for this, I don't know why you would send me this. Even though I would love to post his asshole face, I have refrained for his sake. To prove he was a true asshole, the rest of this blog will be continued via screen shots.
Please note that after he send me the picture, I did not respond for a couple of days. Made it REAL awkward for him. ;)
I told you not to piss me off...
xox C
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Should men indulge in womenswear from time to time?
Should men indulge in womenswear from time to time? Boy, do I got a story for you...
I figured if I wanted to make this blog interesting and my own, I would have to add some sort of personalization to it. So, as said per last blog entry, I probably will throw in some online dating stories from time to time. I'm currently on Match.com (no shame in my game) and it's really been quite interesting. My oldest brother met his current girlfriend and hopefully, one day, soon to be wife. Excellent lady, great family, fun personality, and overall great head on her shoulders. After meeting her and being single for a couple of months, I figured I should try online dating. After college, it's truly hard to meet people. Unfortunately, there is still some social stigma behind online dating, especially at my age, but honestly I don't give a shit. I've truly met some interesting gentleman thus far.
Speaking of interesting...
Before I begin, quickly think about what your deal breakers are in a relationship. What are they? What are your lines and boundaries that you just won't do in a significant other? I know mine, but I am still 24, I am still learning who I am every single day. Regardless of the fact that I really can be a grandma, I have had a lot of life changing experiences than your typical 24 year old, I am still figuring my own life out.
So, here it goes...
SIDE NOTE: Obviously this blog is not to make fun of the gentleman that I met, because he was overall a nice person, but it's more to really get you to think what your deal breakers are and why we have them as individuals. Not to mention, it is a funny story and it shows that you really never know, that there are some interesting (or whatever you wanna call it) guys and gals out there.
Alright, here it goes for real...
Picture this- Nice guy, late 20's, good looking, great job, graphic designer, charming, family guy, wants to get married- cool just what I'm looking for. Talked to John (fake name- although, I don't even know his last name...) for about a week before he asked to take me out to dinner, I said sure, he seemed like he had his life together, unlike other guys I've met in the past. Gave him my number, he texted me shortly after. All's good in the world, we are setting up our date in the next couple days, and we began to just talk about little things. John noticed that I was 5'9, and the dialogue started like this:
John: Are you really 5'9 or are you 5'9 in high heels?
Me: Uh, why would I lie about that, of course I'm 5'9.
John: Is that an issue?
Me: Not really, I'll just wear flat shoes, it's fine.
John: Are you sure? I can wear heels.
Me: Hah
John: Hahahahaha yeah
John: Hahahah jk
John: ...but not really
(insert really fucking freaked out face here)
John proceeded to tell me that he would wear women's heels from time to time. He said wasn't a big deal, brushed it off, and kept asking me questions about my life. I couldn't handle it, I had to know more. I told him I had to know what exactly he meant by that, but he told me he had to go, prior engagement of some sort. I left me hanging for several hours...
Time passed on, I really was unsure on what to do. I started over-thinking. (womanly flaw) I'm very active in the mental health and wellness community because I lost my father when I just turned 19. I ran a mental health club for years in college, I've taken psychology courses, this is something I just didn't know where to even start. I didn't want to be mean, I couldn't; what if he freaked out and threatened to kill himself? What if... I don't even know! I just felt like at that point in time, I was stuck going on a date with a guy that wore high heels, but who knows to what extent this fettish, or whatever is it, went.
He appeared back in the middle of the night, drunk, so it was easy for him to text me with blunt honesty. Here's how it went:
John: Sooooooo, are you still there? LOL
Me: Yeah, uh, what's going on?
John: Yeah, I like women's heels, I own some pairs, what size are you?
Me: Uh, 10.
John: Good, we can share!!!!!! :D
Me: Uh, I don't know about this...
John: Why? What's wrong?
(Seriously dude?)
Me: I think I need to know what extent you're talking about before we go out.
John: Please, let's go out, I really like you.
Me: So do you dress in drag or something?
John: No, not really.
Me: Do you wear makeup?
John: Yeah, omg it's hard to put on!
Me: Do you wear girls clothes in public?
John: Not really, sometimes I'll wear skinny jeans a cute top.
Me: What do you mean by a cute top?
John: You know, a cute top :)
Me: I don't know about this.
John: Please, I really want to meet you and take you out.
Me: I'm looking for a boyfriend, not a girlfriend. No offense.
John: Okay.............
Me: I don't think you'll ever change for me.
John: It's not a matter of me changing, it's a matter of finding someone that accepts me for me.
So, I never went on the date with John. (I know you were all thinking that...) Are there girls out there who would accept that? Am I just weird? Is he just weird? Is this normal? What is normal? What are your deal breakers? Is there hope for the human race? Will I ever find a normal guy again?
xox C
I figured if I wanted to make this blog interesting and my own, I would have to add some sort of personalization to it. So, as said per last blog entry, I probably will throw in some online dating stories from time to time. I'm currently on Match.com (no shame in my game) and it's really been quite interesting. My oldest brother met his current girlfriend and hopefully, one day, soon to be wife. Excellent lady, great family, fun personality, and overall great head on her shoulders. After meeting her and being single for a couple of months, I figured I should try online dating. After college, it's truly hard to meet people. Unfortunately, there is still some social stigma behind online dating, especially at my age, but honestly I don't give a shit. I've truly met some interesting gentleman thus far.
Speaking of interesting...
Before I begin, quickly think about what your deal breakers are in a relationship. What are they? What are your lines and boundaries that you just won't do in a significant other? I know mine, but I am still 24, I am still learning who I am every single day. Regardless of the fact that I really can be a grandma, I have had a lot of life changing experiences than your typical 24 year old, I am still figuring my own life out.
So, here it goes...
SIDE NOTE: Obviously this blog is not to make fun of the gentleman that I met, because he was overall a nice person, but it's more to really get you to think what your deal breakers are and why we have them as individuals. Not to mention, it is a funny story and it shows that you really never know, that there are some interesting (or whatever you wanna call it) guys and gals out there.
Alright, here it goes for real...
Picture this- Nice guy, late 20's, good looking, great job, graphic designer, charming, family guy, wants to get married- cool just what I'm looking for. Talked to John (fake name- although, I don't even know his last name...) for about a week before he asked to take me out to dinner, I said sure, he seemed like he had his life together, unlike other guys I've met in the past. Gave him my number, he texted me shortly after. All's good in the world, we are setting up our date in the next couple days, and we began to just talk about little things. John noticed that I was 5'9, and the dialogue started like this:
John: Are you really 5'9 or are you 5'9 in high heels?
Me: Uh, why would I lie about that, of course I'm 5'9.
John: Is that an issue?
Me: Not really, I'll just wear flat shoes, it's fine.
John: Are you sure? I can wear heels.
Me: Hah
John: Hahahahaha yeah
John: Hahahah jk
John: ...but not really
(insert really fucking freaked out face here)
John proceeded to tell me that he would wear women's heels from time to time. He said wasn't a big deal, brushed it off, and kept asking me questions about my life. I couldn't handle it, I had to know more. I told him I had to know what exactly he meant by that, but he told me he had to go, prior engagement of some sort. I left me hanging for several hours...
Time passed on, I really was unsure on what to do. I started over-thinking. (womanly flaw) I'm very active in the mental health and wellness community because I lost my father when I just turned 19. I ran a mental health club for years in college, I've taken psychology courses, this is something I just didn't know where to even start. I didn't want to be mean, I couldn't; what if he freaked out and threatened to kill himself? What if... I don't even know! I just felt like at that point in time, I was stuck going on a date with a guy that wore high heels, but who knows to what extent this fettish, or whatever is it, went.
He appeared back in the middle of the night, drunk, so it was easy for him to text me with blunt honesty. Here's how it went:
John: Sooooooo, are you still there? LOL
Me: Yeah, uh, what's going on?
John: Yeah, I like women's heels, I own some pairs, what size are you?
Me: Uh, 10.
John: Good, we can share!!!!!! :D
Me: Uh, I don't know about this...
John: Why? What's wrong?
(Seriously dude?)
Me: I think I need to know what extent you're talking about before we go out.
John: Please, let's go out, I really like you.
Me: So do you dress in drag or something?
John: No, not really.
Me: Do you wear makeup?
John: Yeah, omg it's hard to put on!
Me: Do you wear girls clothes in public?
John: Not really, sometimes I'll wear skinny jeans a cute top.
Me: What do you mean by a cute top?
John: You know, a cute top :)
Me: I don't know about this.
John: Please, I really want to meet you and take you out.
Me: I'm looking for a boyfriend, not a girlfriend. No offense.
John: Okay.............
Me: I don't think you'll ever change for me.
John: It's not a matter of me changing, it's a matter of finding someone that accepts me for me.
So, I never went on the date with John. (I know you were all thinking that...) Are there girls out there who would accept that? Am I just weird? Is he just weird? Is this normal? What is normal? What are your deal breakers? Is there hope for the human race? Will I ever find a normal guy again?
xox C
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
What's a "mensinsta?" That's probably the first thing that you want to know before you read some random girls blog. Mensinsta is a term I legitimately just made up, yup, this very second. It's simply a combination of menswear + fashionista = mensinta. Like it? Constructive criticism is always very much appreciated.
Picture this: Me, 24/S/F/NJ (do people still do that now-a-days? Little nostalgia for ya...) Sitting at my bedroom desk, elegantly covered my monogrammed terry cloth robe, hair still dripping clean of grapefruit smelling Fredric Fekkai color stay shampoo to keep my new ginger look looking fresh, stinking of Laura Mercier "Fresh Fig," yet smelling like a glamazon about to hit the red carpet, brainstorming a name for a menswear blog I promised to write about six months ago. Great picture, right? Menswear you ask, by why? Does this bitch have any type of credibility? Why would a girl want to write a menswear blog? Well, because I'm a fucking menswear expert, duhhhhh.
I promised you I was a lady, so ladies can't exactly cuss; well, unless it's to a guy that's being a total jerk, (Perhaps an excellent story later?) so I'll try to keep this as PG (but not really, because what's the fun in that?) as much as possible. So here's a little bit of a timeline to show my credibility as a "mensinsta:"
At the age of 18, I started working in menswear at Nordstrom, King of Prussia. I worked under the highest seller in the company and achieved extreme professionalism and credibility with menswear brands such as: Hugo Boss, Canali, Ermenegildo Zegna, Joseph Abboud, Hickey Freedman, Robert Graham, John Varatos, etc. etc. I immediately fell in love, I couldn't handle the possibility that sizes for men actually made sense. I.E. if your waist measures 34 inches, your pant size is a 34! WOAH, SLOW DOWN HERE... Why is it so complicated for women? Why would women make sizes such as 0 (seriously, why/how does that even exist?) and size 3? But no, sometimes sizes only come in even numbers in certain brands and not odd; and why does premium denim come in NORMAL sizes like a size 29, just as men have? Seriously, whoever invented sizes for women, totally needs a bitchslap by yours truly. So life goes on, I perform some serious makeovers on ex-boyfriends (Ask anyone- I'm like a fairy Godmother to some helpless souls I've dated out there and they all have thanked me for opening their eyes to the exciting world of fashion.) and then I graduate college. I graduate college with an English, Secondary Education degree. (I will admit, sometimes I'm too lazy to proofread.) I have the world all around me, and I chose to go into retail. Who does that? Seriously? Someone who wants to purse their passions instead of paying their student loans. (Currently I'm paying 1/4 of my monthly income to my loans- seriously? When is college going to get any cheaper for future generations? Perhaps my next blog rant?) So, I decided to keep my gig at Nordstrom, selling suiting, until my dream came true...
THE Italian luxury menswear brand opened up nearby. (When I quit/they fire me, I'll post what this brand is, better safe than sorry.) It was like heaven on Earth- the most elegant menswear brand on the planet working in my mall. I rocked my interview (or so I think-I didn't think so at the time) and they offered me a job. Took said job, and here I am now, one year and ten months later still at the same luxury boutique.
So, over the last couple of months, I've found it necessary to want to write a blog to help all the good guys out there to learn how to dress. Who knows how many people will actually read this, but I'll say that I'll aspire to have Jezbel (Excellent women's fashion, sex, celeb site-check it OR the brother site- Gawker) type of writing meshed with the concept of the style guy from GQ. I.E. you ask me questions, I'll answer eloquently, but from a ladies perspective; because after all, aren't most of you guys (except all my awesome gay pals out there) dressing for us ladies? So why would you want a guys opinion anyways? (If you do, please enlighten me) Here I am, classy young lady at your service. From time to time, I'll throw in a couple of silly dating stories because being a single lady in Northern New Jersey, involved in online dating, has been quite the experience thus far.
Feel free to post comments, I'll answer. If I don't get too many comments/emails I might just have to start with the basics. Like what tie goes with a white shirt and blue suit; it still boggles my mind that people don't know that, but that's why I'm here, to help you all out one blog at time.
Love Always,
xox CB
Picture this: Me, 24/S/F/NJ (do people still do that now-a-days? Little nostalgia for ya...) Sitting at my bedroom desk, elegantly covered my monogrammed terry cloth robe, hair still dripping clean of grapefruit smelling Fredric Fekkai color stay shampoo to keep my new ginger look looking fresh, stinking of Laura Mercier "Fresh Fig," yet smelling like a glamazon about to hit the red carpet, brainstorming a name for a menswear blog I promised to write about six months ago. Great picture, right? Menswear you ask, by why? Does this bitch have any type of credibility? Why would a girl want to write a menswear blog? Well, because I'm a fucking menswear expert, duhhhhh.
I promised you I was a lady, so ladies can't exactly cuss; well, unless it's to a guy that's being a total jerk, (Perhaps an excellent story later?) so I'll try to keep this as PG (but not really, because what's the fun in that?) as much as possible. So here's a little bit of a timeline to show my credibility as a "mensinsta:"
At the age of 18, I started working in menswear at Nordstrom, King of Prussia. I worked under the highest seller in the company and achieved extreme professionalism and credibility with menswear brands such as: Hugo Boss, Canali, Ermenegildo Zegna, Joseph Abboud, Hickey Freedman, Robert Graham, John Varatos, etc. etc. I immediately fell in love, I couldn't handle the possibility that sizes for men actually made sense. I.E. if your waist measures 34 inches, your pant size is a 34! WOAH, SLOW DOWN HERE... Why is it so complicated for women? Why would women make sizes such as 0 (seriously, why/how does that even exist?) and size 3? But no, sometimes sizes only come in even numbers in certain brands and not odd; and why does premium denim come in NORMAL sizes like a size 29, just as men have? Seriously, whoever invented sizes for women, totally needs a bitchslap by yours truly. So life goes on, I perform some serious makeovers on ex-boyfriends (Ask anyone- I'm like a fairy Godmother to some helpless souls I've dated out there and they all have thanked me for opening their eyes to the exciting world of fashion.) and then I graduate college. I graduate college with an English, Secondary Education degree. (I will admit, sometimes I'm too lazy to proofread.) I have the world all around me, and I chose to go into retail. Who does that? Seriously? Someone who wants to purse their passions instead of paying their student loans. (Currently I'm paying 1/4 of my monthly income to my loans- seriously? When is college going to get any cheaper for future generations? Perhaps my next blog rant?) So, I decided to keep my gig at Nordstrom, selling suiting, until my dream came true...
THE Italian luxury menswear brand opened up nearby. (When I quit/they fire me, I'll post what this brand is, better safe than sorry.) It was like heaven on Earth- the most elegant menswear brand on the planet working in my mall. I rocked my interview (or so I think-I didn't think so at the time) and they offered me a job. Took said job, and here I am now, one year and ten months later still at the same luxury boutique.
So, over the last couple of months, I've found it necessary to want to write a blog to help all the good guys out there to learn how to dress. Who knows how many people will actually read this, but I'll say that I'll aspire to have Jezbel (Excellent women's fashion, sex, celeb site-check it OR the brother site- Gawker) type of writing meshed with the concept of the style guy from GQ. I.E. you ask me questions, I'll answer eloquently, but from a ladies perspective; because after all, aren't most of you guys (except all my awesome gay pals out there) dressing for us ladies? So why would you want a guys opinion anyways? (If you do, please enlighten me) Here I am, classy young lady at your service. From time to time, I'll throw in a couple of silly dating stories because being a single lady in Northern New Jersey, involved in online dating, has been quite the experience thus far.
Feel free to post comments, I'll answer. If I don't get too many comments/emails I might just have to start with the basics. Like what tie goes with a white shirt and blue suit; it still boggles my mind that people don't know that, but that's why I'm here, to help you all out one blog at time.
Love Always,
xox CB
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