This is a blog, this is supposed to be a personal thing, so I'm going to make it very personal after this entry. I don't feel extremely comfortable writing about this, giving everyone extreme insight of my personal life, but in all actuality that's what a blog is for. I've already told you other stories about my life, might as well write about this one.
Have you ever been talking to someone and they just disappeared? Stopped answering your calls, texts, emails, morris code, whatever you use for means of communication? Why does that happen? Why are people that rude and mean? What did you ever do to them? What went wrong? Questions such as that swirl around my mind as the same thing just happened to me.
Regardless of the fact that I want to admit it or not, my so called "perfect boyfriend" wasn't perfect after all regardless of the great dates that we had when we were together. The first weeks growing up to the relationship were, but after that, things took a evil turn for unanswered reasons. We decided to make it monogamous, and things really just ended after that. I could never have never seen this coming, but something just happened and I still have so many questions unanswered.
But why was it after we made it official that things got weird? He got a promotion and I never heard from him again, really only once a week. I made two surprise stops to him at work and he promised everything was okay, just things were busy at work. Things aren't okay when you hear from your "significant other" once a week for three weeks and Facebook lets you know that every other five minutes he's liking shit on Facebook and Instagram. I cut him slack when he told me things were going on in his family, but after three weeks you can't even throw me a bone here and tell me anything? There were so many other personal aspects of his life that I knew, that this situation seemed so small and I was speechless that he couldn't tell me anything; maybe if he told me something I would be willing to wait. I'm an extremely compassionate person, and family is everything to me, so I understood in the beginning. I would always bring him small gifts when I visited, always unappreciated and never thanked, and that's probably when I should have got the hint. Then it just hit me one day; I can't waste a solid month in my 20's on someone that doesn't want to waste their time with me, I can't wait for someone if they can't even give me some kind of explanation. Things were great in the beginning, but why all of a sudden did things take a turn? It's just unacceptable and time is so precious that it shouldn't be wasted. Things shouldn't be wrong in the first couple months of a relationship, this was when you were supposed to be in a honeymoon phase, where you just wanted to rip each others clothes off everyday. So why was this happening to me? I never did anything wrong, and I know that for a fact.
So, I called him on Sunday, before that the last thing I heard from him was last Wednesday saying he would call me when he could, he was just busy at work. I told him Sunday on his voicemail (since that's the only way I could ever speak to him) that this isn't a relationship and that he needs to call me back for this to be fixed or ended. I never got a call back.
So why did he feel it necessary to waste three weeks of my time telling me that we were okay when we clearly weren't? Was it really work? Was it another girl? Was it really family? What's the point to just dangle me along? Just end things and let me move on, be a man, sometimes things just don't work out, I understand. I tried to be patient, then I realized I was just being a fool. Why do people do this? Is it lack of courage? Lack of self confidence? Not wanting to hurt someone? What is it? Why do people just disappear into thin air? What happened? All I did was good towards you, as a woman I've evaluated every aspect and every conversation and I know I'm right. (That's not just the stubborn Taurus in me.) I even bought books to learn Polish for him since that was his primary language; I know I'm a good person.
Moral to this story and relationship, don't waste your time on someone who doesn't want to waste their time on you. He could have texted me while taking his morning shit, could have texted me instead of liking stupid memes on Facebook, he clearly always saw my texts and could have sent me a text at some point in the day. I should know this by now, numerous boyfriends of my past, but I still get lost in a cloud of love whenever I meet someone I'm head over heels for. I make excuses for them, and that's just unacceptable; at least I didn't let it go on that long like I have in the past, can't be such a pessimist. Clear your head of this infatuation, and always be aware of the signs around you. Ignorance isn't always bliss. Really just be aware of the people in your life that actually do care and notice you. Those people are those that you should be wasting your time with; thanks M xox.
xox C
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