Tuesday, September 24, 2013

What do you do with a bad kisser?

Hello, hello, we meet again.  It's been a while, and I've been pretty darn busy, but I'm currently unemployed and waiting for a start date on my new job.  I don't want to jinx anything, but when I can, I will surely and happily announce to the world what my new life path entails.

On to bigger and better things, a new thought that has crossed my mind that's worthy to blog about- bad kissers.  What do you do with them?  Kick em' to the curb?  Teach them how to kiss the way you like it?  Is there a bad/wrong way to kiss?  Yeah, there sure as hell is.

Back in the day, during my Match days, I was casual dating a guy that was a bad kisser.  I didn't like him enough to consider him to be baby daddy material, but he was nice to be around with for the time being.  I really just couldn't break it off with him because he was a bad kisser; but now that I think about it, couldn't I?  I mean a strong relationship to me is a combination of friendship, respect, and sexual attraction.  I had that with him, but since he was so bad at kissing, I just couldn't do it or think about wanting to move it to the next level.  He was so nice that I kept saying yes to next dates, and the bad kissing part was the only reason why I wanted to say no.  It was like kissing a dead fish; his tongue just sat in my mouth cold and wet and I didn't know what to do with it.  He just didn't move, didn't use any hands, no passion at all.  I would start to avoid any type of contact with him and always met in public places and dreaded the end of the night where he walked me to my car and kissed me goodnight or drove me home and kissed me goodnight.  Maybe we just had no sexual chemistry even though I found him attractive, but you can't exactly tell someone that, or can you?  Is that offensive?  It takes me back to the movie 27 Dresses, (Long story short- girl loves her boss, her boss falls for her sister, it doesn't work out with sister, so she tells the boss she likes him, they kiss and they don't feel any "magic.") so when you don't feel "magic" with someone, I guess you can tell them?  How is that magic supposed to feel?  A little tingle in your heart?  A little tingle in your lady parts?  Maybe?  Maybe I thought things would change, maybe I thought could change them, but when I really get down to thinking and writing, it is what it is.  You can't force things that aren't meant to be.  I knew from square one that it wasn't right, but why did I keep pursing it?  To fill up my time?  To try and make it work because I knew how nice he was and it's so hard to find a nice guy now-a-days?  Whatever the reason was, now I know that you really need to realize that what you see is what you get, and if something bothers you that much, then it's a deal breaker and you end things.  I guess you got to experience life and people to really realize what's good and not good for you.

I once had a friend that a lot of my guy friends made out with, and they always said she was a bad kisser- dead fish kinda deal.  Each and every guy said the same thing to me and pulled me aside and asked me to show her how to kiss.  Never did, I never confronted her, I didn't know how I would do it.  Now, she's in a steady relationship with a guy that can deal with her bad habits.  Maybe he didn't think being a bad kisser was that big of a deal.  Who knows, I can never ask, but maybe he doesn't think she's a bad kisser, maybe he taught her, maybe I have to ask him... Maybe I'll just keep that scenario to my imagination.

Life is about experiencing new things each and everyday.  You can't shelter yourself, you just got to go out and do you.  Even though he was a nice guy, being a bad kisser really was what I couldn't deal with.  I couldn't think about having to deal with how horrible it would be if the kisses goodnight were bad.  (I mean, hey, it's the truth)  So, you got to find someone with flaws that you can accept, ones that aren't going to bother you each and everyday; just takes a lot of dates, timing, and patience to find someone with those qualities.  Good luck to me and all of you out there ;)

That's it for now.
xox C

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