Hello, hello, we meet again. It's been a while, and I've been pretty darn busy, but I'm currently unemployed and waiting for a start date on my new job. I don't want to jinx anything, but when I can, I will surely and happily announce to the world what my new life path entails.
On to bigger and better things, a new thought that has crossed my mind that's worthy to blog about- bad kissers. What do you do with them? Kick em' to the curb? Teach them how to kiss the way you like it? Is there a bad/wrong way to kiss? Yeah, there sure as hell is.
Back in the day, during my Match days, I was casual dating a guy that was a bad kisser. I didn't like him enough to consider him to be baby daddy material, but he was nice to be around with for the time being. I really just couldn't break it off with him because he was a bad kisser; but now that I think about it, couldn't I? I mean a strong relationship to me is a combination of friendship, respect, and sexual attraction. I had that with him, but since he was so bad at kissing, I just couldn't do it or think about wanting to move it to the next level. He was so nice that I kept saying yes to next dates, and the bad kissing part was the only reason why I wanted to say no. It was like kissing a dead fish; his tongue just sat in my mouth cold and wet and I didn't know what to do with it. He just didn't move, didn't use any hands, no passion at all. I would start to avoid any type of contact with him and always met in public places and dreaded the end of the night where he walked me to my car and kissed me goodnight or drove me home and kissed me goodnight. Maybe we just had no sexual chemistry even though I found him attractive, but you can't exactly tell someone that, or can you? Is that offensive? It takes me back to the movie 27 Dresses, (Long story short- girl loves her boss, her boss falls for her sister, it doesn't work out with sister, so she tells the boss she likes him, they kiss and they don't feel any "magic.") so when you don't feel "magic" with someone, I guess you can tell them? How is that magic supposed to feel? A little tingle in your heart? A little tingle in your lady parts? Maybe? Maybe I thought things would change, maybe I thought could change them, but when I really get down to thinking and writing, it is what it is. You can't force things that aren't meant to be. I knew from square one that it wasn't right, but why did I keep pursing it? To fill up my time? To try and make it work because I knew how nice he was and it's so hard to find a nice guy now-a-days? Whatever the reason was, now I know that you really need to realize that what you see is what you get, and if something bothers you that much, then it's a deal breaker and you end things. I guess you got to experience life and people to really realize what's good and not good for you.
I once had a friend that a lot of my guy friends made out with, and they always said she was a bad kisser- dead fish kinda deal. Each and every guy said the same thing to me and pulled me aside and asked me to show her how to kiss. Never did, I never confronted her, I didn't know how I would do it. Now, she's in a steady relationship with a guy that can deal with her bad habits. Maybe he didn't think being a bad kisser was that big of a deal. Who knows, I can never ask, but maybe he doesn't think she's a bad kisser, maybe he taught her, maybe I have to ask him... Maybe I'll just keep that scenario to my imagination.
Life is about experiencing new things each and everyday. You can't shelter yourself, you just got to go out and do you. Even though he was a nice guy, being a bad kisser really was what I couldn't deal with. I couldn't think about having to deal with how horrible it would be if the kisses goodnight were bad. (I mean, hey, it's the truth) So, you got to find someone with flaws that you can accept, ones that aren't going to bother you each and everyday; just takes a lot of dates, timing, and patience to find someone with those qualities. Good luck to me and all of you out there ;)
That's it for now.
xox C
Showing posts with label kissing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kissing. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Sunday, August 11, 2013
The lovely world of Tinder - Part II
Hello! Good evening. I forewarned you on the last post that I'll be going on a little bit of a rant, so I really feel like it deserved it's own blog.
5. So I told you that I met one guy on Tinder. This guy, I'll call him Chris, seemed like boyfriend potential, can't lie about that one. We would talk a decent amount; he was a big family guy, had some fancy pants job in finance in NYC, played hockey, really made himself sound like a winner before even meeting him. The only con about Chris, was that he just got out of a relationship only four weeks ago, he did the breaking and so he said he was fine. I was away on vacation for a little while, so I had some time to talk to him before meeting up with him. So, as soon as I got back, I made plans to see what Chris was all about. We met at a sports bar in Madison, close to where I work. I get there and I didn't see him anywhere in sight; I wore neon so he could easily spot me, being the lady that I am. I start to text him and some 6'2 goon with his fathers blue oxford shirt and double pleat trousers came walking towards me; what the hell, this was him. Why would he wear his fathers shirt to a sports bar? If these were seriously his clothes that he wore to work, why didn't he change? He had plenty of time since he got off the train. (Side note- guys, having a good tailor is key to looking good. Fit is seriously insanely important, it can make cheap garments look good. I'll explain in another blog...) So, anyways, he comes over and gives me a big hug with some dark liquor that seems to be on the rocks. (Please don't spill on this dress, it's dry clean and brand new.) So, we find a table and sit down, and the fun begins...
I really just cringe whenever I replay this date in my mind. I was there for two hours and fifteen minutes; I had a beer and a half and he had five whiskey on the rocks. Five. Was he nervous? Was he an alcoholic? Was he trying to impress me of his drinking skills? There could be a million reasons why he did this, but whatever reason it was, it really didn't impress me at all. I say this because first dates are an impression on ones character, and what kind of impression was he trying to give me? I still can't figure it out, I really would love to get into his head.
Before I continue with this disaster date, I really had to speak to a couple of people to see if I was being a Puritan about this one. I simply posted a Facebook status asking others about how they thought would be an acceptable amount to drink on first date; I got a myriad of answers. These consisted of don't drink at all to let's get fucked up and find out what each other are really like because you can really find that out quickly after a couple of drinks. Where's a happy medium? I'm still a little unsure about how many drinks are acceptable, but what I do know after all of this, is that being shit hammered isn't exactly being a lady on the first date.
The vast majority of Chris and I's conversation was miserable. For the rest of my description of him, I'm just going to list short and sweet facts basically in the order of how the date went within the two hour and fifteen minute horror story date. I've really tried to block this all out of my mind, so this is the best I can do:
His name is Chris.
He's 26 and lives at home.
He asks for a second drink.
He was just in a relationship.
He thinks I'm so sexy.
He works in NYC.
He was a fuck up in college- he went to Univ. Vermont, County College, then F. Dickenson Univ.
He did a LOT of drugs in college.
He went into a really dark place in college.
He asks for another drink.
He had sex with "a lot" of girls in high school.
He said that guys used to want to fight him in the locker room in high school.
He thinks I'm really sexy.
He got with so many girls in high school.
He enjoys drinking.
He asks for another drink.
He thinks I'm smoking hot.
He thinks he's too smart for his job.
He hates his job.
He thinks I'm sexy.
He asks for another drink.
He met one other girl on Tinder- she was DTF. (down to fuck)
They took shots on their first date.
He has a minimum bar of standards before he sleeps with a girl. (Never found out what those were, maybe she just needed to be wearing shoes.)
He thinks I'm smoking hot.
He says he never slept with her.
He asks me one question about myself.
He compliments me in my dress.
He tells me to never cut my hair, ever for the sake of all men out there.
He asks for another drink.
He says he loves metal music.
He says he loves getting into mosh pits.
He makes fun of the fact that I like John Mayer.
He says he's going to take the guitar out of the live bands hand and just play metal for everyone since the current music sucks.
He's so good at playing guitar.
He asks me if I'd ever have a three sum. (Just in case you're wondering I told him no way WITHOUT slapping him right there in the middle of the bar.)
He says I don't look like the girl that would ever have a three sum.
He tells me if we were ever to have one, that he would want to see me enjoying it.
He says how hot I am.
He asks me a third question. (question two was the three sum.)
I tell him he has to go home because it's late.
He says he will "hate me forever" because I kept him out so late.
He makes fun of me for not finishing my beer.
So, the end of the date comes around and he offers to walk to me my car and I tell him no, but he does so anyways. He tries to put his hand around my waist the entire time to my car, and I awkwardly keep moving away so he keeps missing. When I get to my car, that awkward time at the end of the evening, he goes in for a kiss. Thank god I was a pro basketball player back in my day because my pump fake came in REAL handy right there to get out out that one. So, I got in my car and drove towards home and he stumbled back to his car with a case of crazy drunk eyes.
So, as soon as I get in my car, I see a text from another guy from Tinder telling me to come into Morristown because he's playing at a bar. I had such a bad date, that I said fuck it and decided to go...
In between the first two messages, I walked into the bar, and it was empty other than him and six other girls. Way to make a girl feel special, buddy.
...and then I really wasn't having it and let a little bitchy side out of me.
I guess all I really need to say about Stephen is that if you're going to be a player, get your game on straight, bro. As my good old friend from Jamaica (just think of the phrase with the accent) with a wife and girlfriend with two different phones says to me "play on playa..."
xox C
5. So I told you that I met one guy on Tinder. This guy, I'll call him Chris, seemed like boyfriend potential, can't lie about that one. We would talk a decent amount; he was a big family guy, had some fancy pants job in finance in NYC, played hockey, really made himself sound like a winner before even meeting him. The only con about Chris, was that he just got out of a relationship only four weeks ago, he did the breaking and so he said he was fine. I was away on vacation for a little while, so I had some time to talk to him before meeting up with him. So, as soon as I got back, I made plans to see what Chris was all about. We met at a sports bar in Madison, close to where I work. I get there and I didn't see him anywhere in sight; I wore neon so he could easily spot me, being the lady that I am. I start to text him and some 6'2 goon with his fathers blue oxford shirt and double pleat trousers came walking towards me; what the hell, this was him. Why would he wear his fathers shirt to a sports bar? If these were seriously his clothes that he wore to work, why didn't he change? He had plenty of time since he got off the train. (Side note- guys, having a good tailor is key to looking good. Fit is seriously insanely important, it can make cheap garments look good. I'll explain in another blog...) So, anyways, he comes over and gives me a big hug with some dark liquor that seems to be on the rocks. (Please don't spill on this dress, it's dry clean and brand new.) So, we find a table and sit down, and the fun begins...
I really just cringe whenever I replay this date in my mind. I was there for two hours and fifteen minutes; I had a beer and a half and he had five whiskey on the rocks. Five. Was he nervous? Was he an alcoholic? Was he trying to impress me of his drinking skills? There could be a million reasons why he did this, but whatever reason it was, it really didn't impress me at all. I say this because first dates are an impression on ones character, and what kind of impression was he trying to give me? I still can't figure it out, I really would love to get into his head.
Before I continue with this disaster date, I really had to speak to a couple of people to see if I was being a Puritan about this one. I simply posted a Facebook status asking others about how they thought would be an acceptable amount to drink on first date; I got a myriad of answers. These consisted of don't drink at all to let's get fucked up and find out what each other are really like because you can really find that out quickly after a couple of drinks. Where's a happy medium? I'm still a little unsure about how many drinks are acceptable, but what I do know after all of this, is that being shit hammered isn't exactly being a lady on the first date.
The vast majority of Chris and I's conversation was miserable. For the rest of my description of him, I'm just going to list short and sweet facts basically in the order of how the date went within the two hour and fifteen minute horror story date. I've really tried to block this all out of my mind, so this is the best I can do:
His name is Chris.
He's 26 and lives at home.
He asks for a second drink.
He was just in a relationship.
He thinks I'm so sexy.
He works in NYC.
He was a fuck up in college- he went to Univ. Vermont, County College, then F. Dickenson Univ.
He did a LOT of drugs in college.
He went into a really dark place in college.
He asks for another drink.
He had sex with "a lot" of girls in high school.
He said that guys used to want to fight him in the locker room in high school.
He thinks I'm really sexy.
He got with so many girls in high school.
He enjoys drinking.
He asks for another drink.
He thinks I'm smoking hot.
He thinks he's too smart for his job.
He hates his job.
He thinks I'm sexy.
He asks for another drink.
He met one other girl on Tinder- she was DTF. (down to fuck)
They took shots on their first date.
He has a minimum bar of standards before he sleeps with a girl. (Never found out what those were, maybe she just needed to be wearing shoes.)
He thinks I'm smoking hot.
He says he never slept with her.
He asks me one question about myself.
He compliments me in my dress.
He tells me to never cut my hair, ever for the sake of all men out there.
He asks for another drink.
He says he loves metal music.
He says he loves getting into mosh pits.
He makes fun of the fact that I like John Mayer.
He says he's going to take the guitar out of the live bands hand and just play metal for everyone since the current music sucks.
He's so good at playing guitar.
He asks me if I'd ever have a three sum. (Just in case you're wondering I told him no way WITHOUT slapping him right there in the middle of the bar.)
He says I don't look like the girl that would ever have a three sum.
He tells me if we were ever to have one, that he would want to see me enjoying it.
He says how hot I am.
He asks me a third question. (question two was the three sum.)
I tell him he has to go home because it's late.
He says he will "hate me forever" because I kept him out so late.
He makes fun of me for not finishing my beer.
So, the end of the date comes around and he offers to walk to me my car and I tell him no, but he does so anyways. He tries to put his hand around my waist the entire time to my car, and I awkwardly keep moving away so he keeps missing. When I get to my car, that awkward time at the end of the evening, he goes in for a kiss. Thank god I was a pro basketball player back in my day because my pump fake came in REAL handy right there to get out out that one. So, I got in my car and drove towards home and he stumbled back to his car with a case of crazy drunk eyes.
So, as soon as I get in my car, I see a text from another guy from Tinder telling me to come into Morristown because he's playing at a bar. I had such a bad date, that I said fuck it and decided to go...
6. Stephen
Stephen was one of the nice guys, seemed very down to Earth. I just got that good vibe from him without talking to him too too much. So, I got to Morristown and I had a little moment where I freaked out. What the fuck am I doing here? I'm alone and showing up to some guy I don't even knows concert. What if I hate him? What if he hates me? I don't even know how tall he is. (I'm 5'9 - I really can't do shorter, comfort thing.) What if he's a crazy guy? I should have talked to him more since my gut feeling was already off for the night. So, I decided to run to the ATM before I went into the bar; if I went to the ATM I would be able to pass the bar to see if people were actually in it, without going in before and embarrassing myself. So, I pass by, and some guy is indeed singing in a one man band there just as he told me. I go back to my car, just to take a deep breath because I really felt like I was doing something way too crazy for who I normally am and this happens:
Stephen was one of the nice guys, seemed very down to Earth. I just got that good vibe from him without talking to him too too much. So, I got to Morristown and I had a little moment where I freaked out. What the fuck am I doing here? I'm alone and showing up to some guy I don't even knows concert. What if I hate him? What if he hates me? I don't even know how tall he is. (I'm 5'9 - I really can't do shorter, comfort thing.) What if he's a crazy guy? I should have talked to him more since my gut feeling was already off for the night. So, I decided to run to the ATM before I went into the bar; if I went to the ATM I would be able to pass the bar to see if people were actually in it, without going in before and embarrassing myself. So, I pass by, and some guy is indeed singing in a one man band there just as he told me. I go back to my car, just to take a deep breath because I really felt like I was doing something way too crazy for who I normally am and this happens:
In between the first two messages, I walked into the bar, and it was empty other than him and six other girls. Way to make a girl feel special, buddy.
I guess all I really need to say about Stephen is that if you're going to be a player, get your game on straight, bro. As my good old friend from Jamaica (just think of the phrase with the accent) with a wife and girlfriend with two different phones says to me "play on playa..."
xox C
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