Is it okay to Google someone you're talking to?

I've really been debating if this was a post I should write, but I've really decided that I had to.  When I think about it, it's something I'm passionate about, and so I should be able to write a blog about it.  In no way shape or form am I trying to be disrespectful to the guy that I was talking to, I just don't agree with what he was doing and his approach to courting me and I feel the need for others to hear about it.

As I've stated prior, I'm a little old fashioned compared to a lot of people my age; I like hand written thank you notes, hardcover books over Kindles, I really enjoy the beauty behind words, which is probably the reason why I'm an English Major.  I must admit that I am an avid texter, (although, not as much as my brothers!) but that doesn't mean that I don't love to have a phone conversation for hours with friends or someone that I'm getting to know.  So, when I was talking to a guy and he said he Googled me and found my Twitter, Blog, etc. I got a little taken back and worried.  Why did this guy feel the need to look me up using the Internet and not just ask me questions himself?  I understand with modern technologly all around us, there's really no boundaries on what you can find out about a person through the internet.  I just really think doing something such as Googling someone you're courting or dating is crossing a boundary; regardless of the fact that I have absolutely nothing to hide, I just felt violated in such a sense.

Let's call Mr. Google Steve.  I met Steve off of Match, no more Tinder ever again.  He was from Philadelphia, and part of me was always very hesistant about pursing anything because my last relationship was long distance and he lived right outside of Philadelphia as well; I really don't think I'm willing to make a commitment to another long distance relationship, I want something that's a little easier.  So, because he was so funny and cute, I was willing to give him the time of day regardless that he was 100 miles away.  We talked for weeks and apparently I cancelled on him two times in the period of a month and a half of knowing each other.  (I don't even remember consenting to dates)  So, last weekend we had a final date opportunity (final date opportunity in his eyes), but my schedule was just so off because of work.  I was working way overtime because we were understaffed, and I was putting in 14 hour days (I would do that if I was teaching, but this is retail, and I don't get paid that well to be there for that long ;)  Anyways, I told Steve that I might be free on Saturday, but I really wasn't too sure because of how my schedule was looking the past couple of days.

So, Saturday rolls around, I worked all day, and had to bail on Steve again.  You do what you gotta do on commission; sorry, but making enough money to pay off my student loans is more of a priorty than going on a date with anyone, sorry for being too logical.  So Steve got a little mad...

After reading this, I can't tell if I'm the bigger bitch or not.  He was a nice guy, total gentleman, but like I said before, I just wasn't having it with the distance and my history with long distance relationships.  So, I didn't answer him for a while...

After seeing this, I really felt heartbroken for a short period of time; Is writing my blog wrong?  Am I being a mean person?  I mean I really try and keep the identity of these guys private, so I really didn't care what he was saying.  The purpose of the blog is for laugher, and maybe some people will learn a couple dating do's and don'ts.  It's not meant to be malicious at all.  Then things started to get a little fucking weird and I didn't feel guilty at all...

I don't even know you Steve, so how is that even possible?  I'm sorry, but I'm also talking to other people, it's the name of the game.  As soon as I joined Match, my brother made it really clear to me that I should do that and expect that being done to me.  You can go on dates and date as many people as you want until you have that next step conversation; I'm sorry, but I don't think of anyone when I go to sleep, maybe just my cat, but that's it.

I looked back, it was three weeks ago that I had something about my blog on Twitter.  He really looked through my tweets, because I tweet a lot...  Then, here's where I started to get a little heated...

I'm still honestly so torn on what to say about the entire scenario, but actually not really at all.  I felt him being genuine behind this all, but why would you admit to Googling me?  That's just fucking weird!  If I'm being totally honest with myself, I will openly tell you that I'm dating a guy and numerous people have asked me to see a picture of him, but I don't have one.  So, one day, I found him on Facebook and showed my girlfriend.  I could have just pulled up his Match profile, but it tells him that I was just looking at him, and I wanted to avoid that after how many other times I've looked at his profile.  Other than that, Googling someone hasn't crossed my mind; and that's probably because of the fact that I've always dated guys from college, and I just didn't need to.  Or maybe I trust too many people and that's just why I've gotten so burnt in the past...  Is Googling something that I should be doing?  What if you do this and find something you don't like about the person?  How would you even begin that conversation?  I guess I really think about it in a different perspective, but I really just don't want to.

As stated before, I just think of it in a sense of being violated; why did he feel the need to do this?  Did he think I had something to hide?  What I do on my own time, is what I want to do.  Not to even mention the fact that we haven't even met... If he had any questions, I'd be willing to answer!  I did tell him that I was a blogger and I wrote about menswear and dating advice, but he said nothing else, didn't ask any questions.  With all the technology today, I really and truly feel like the art of conservation is failing; why is this?  What is going to happen in the future?  Will we not even know how to have a conversation?  Will we only be able to communicate via text message and email?  I truly fear for future generations and for my children, perhaps this is also the reason why I'm getting back into teaching English.  I want to make sure children still know how to write without spell check, I want people to understand how important it is to write thank you notes, and people need to know how you should properly follow up after an interview.  There are so many important life skills that start with knowing how to properly converse with another person, and so many future adults lack this skill already because of subbing in person conversation with technology.  If I could help my students out one at a time, I'd be fine with that just to touch a couple souls and hopefully he/she passes that on to their friends and their children.  I just want someone to get to know me by talking to me and not stalking me on my Facebook or the internet; is that too much to ask in a modern day society with all these resources around us?

Let me know your thoughts.

xox C