How do you break up with someone you're not dating?

As per popular demand, here's my thoughts on how to break up with someone you're not dating.

Lately, I've been enjoying the single life and meeting an absurd amount of guys each week; I'd probably say for the last two and a half months I've been going out on four different dates a week.  That's a lot, I know, but I'm young and I've never done this before, so why not.  I've met some interesting guys, found out a lot about myself, had some good meals, had some really awkward meals, almost left in the middle of a date, I've had some interesting nights.  It's not like I've slept with any of them, that's just not who I am.  When I think about it, only three of them I have been on second dates with.  It's been fun, it's been real, until this one guy kinda stopped my in my tracks; I must say I'm a little smitten. So, I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I've been realizing that I should slowly start cutting off the other dates I had planned, and really just focus on one guy, just to get back into the monogamous mindset even though we haven't had that conversation just yet.  But, maybe we kinda did...  Did we?  Like I said, this whole dating around thing isn't me anyways.  Oddly enough, I actually considered writing flashcards for each guy that I was dating just so I didn't sound like a jerk on a date and called him by his wrong name.  I asked my mom about the flashcard concept, and she actually said it was a smart idea, that it was a really organized of me to do that and didn't judge me at all.  (Unfortunately, I never got to flashcards because of a certain someone...)  So, basically, the point of this blog is to really think about how to remove someone you're kinda seeing out of your life to make room for someone you actually really like; I really want to do it in the nicest way possible.  I don't want to use the, "it's not you it's me excuse," but I really got to get to brainstorming if I don't want to be an asshole.  But, who really cares if I'm an asshole?  I'm never going to see these guys ever again.  Whatever, regardless of me being the kind soul (only at times) that I am, I need to think of something that's not going to make me go to hell and not going to make this guy jump off a bridge.  As you've noticed, I'm kind of a list person, so here's my thoughts a little all over the place.

List of possible ideas on how to break up with someone you're not dating:

1. You can just not answer any of their calls or texts.  Hypothetically, this idea sounds great, and I've actually really started using it with a couple of guys that I never met face to face.  I got this idea from when I first started Match.com.  I was talking to this guy, things were going great, we planned a date, and then when the day came I called him and he never answered.  So, I waited... and waited... and couple hours later I just said something like, "Hey, looks like we aren't hanging out, hit me up whenever you want to meet up."  Said dude never answered, and I was a heartbroken for a couple days, it is what it is; I probably was only upset because it was the first person I talked to on Match.  There actually was another time when I met someone that I thought was going to be my next boyfriend; seriously, he seemed to be exactly what I wanted.  We had a great first date, went through two bottles of wine (Little hypocritical as per a prior blog post- there are always expections), he kissed me goodnight, called me for a couple days after, and then never answered my calls.  I was so angry that I called him out on it and said something like, "I never expected this of you, this is so dick of you" (went a little bitchmode) and he actually apologized saying something like, "one day you'll (aka me) find someone great because I deserve it.. yadda, yadda..." Still  never found out what happened with him, but I don't give a shit anymore, his loss.  After these two scenarios, I really don't think I can do that to someone I went on a couple dates with.

And so, I keep thinking... I really only have to "break up" with one guy.  What to do...

2.  I can meet up with him for coffee/drinks and break the news.  This all sounds great, but I really don't owe him anything after five dates; wait, do I?  We never had a conversation about our future, probably because I never saw a future with him, he was just nice and a time filler, and I figured he was so genuine that he deserved my time.  When is there a point in time that you "owe" someone something?  I don't really want to see him again because I know he's not for me, but he's not a mean guy...

Side note, I think in order for you to fully understand this dilemma I'm going through, I think I need to explain this guy to you.  This guy, let's call him Daniel, and he is overall a really sweet guy. 

Cons with Daniel:
1.  He doesn't look me in the eyes when we talk; huge, huge pet peeve.
2.  He's really shy, and I'm not at all.
3.  He's extremely cheap from what I can grasp.
4.  He likes only dive bars.
5.  I know I'm sheltered, but he's like SHELTERD.
6.  It sounds like he's never had a real girlfriend at the age of 26.
7.  He doesn't have the type of motivation I'm really seeking in a significant other.
8.  He's not my typical type.

Pros:
1. He's legitimately a sweet guy, he would never be a dick to me.
2. He's funny when he let's his guard down.
3. He can keep up with my sass
4. I can't think of anything anymore; why didn't I do this earlier?

From our first date I could tell he wasn't the one; is that bad?  Should have stopped seeing him after that?  But, he was so nice and so safe I kept giving him second chances in hopes that I would like him more, but I just don't.  But now I actually found someone that I like, and I really should just cut him off before I get his hopes up or he thinks we are dating... I mean, I did meet his sisters on our second date... Alright, help me out here people...

3.  I can just text him and tell him the truth.  Who doesn't like the truth?  I feel like everyone out there deserves the truth, so this has to be the answer. "Hey Daniel, you're a nice guy, but I started seeing someone else and uh good luck!  Don't jump off a bridge!  You're a nice guy, just not for me!"  I could say it awkwardly like that, or I can think of something more creative.  Short and sweet is really the way to go in scenarios such as this.

I think option three is the way to go.  Are there rules with this kind of thing?  Do you have to be nice to someone when situations like this happen?  I guess on how you end things really is a judge of character.  Eh, I've been broken up with in via text message, (fuck you, cop outs ;) so it is what it is. Wish me luck.  Perhaps I'll post results...

xox C