The lovely world of Tinder - Part I

This is the first blog post that I don't even know where to begin; this really has been one in the making.

So, for you all that do not know, Tinder is a dating application used on smartphones.  The jist of the application is something like this: you have a maximum of four pictures, you can write a couple sentence biography underneath your photo, it's really a vain application (in my opinion), GPS locates where you are, and you're matched up with males or females in an age range of your choice.  If you like someone's photos, you swipe your finger to the right and if you don't like someone's photos, you swipe to the left.  When you do like someone and he/she likes you, you're "matched" and you're given an opportunity to message each other.  It's a interesting program, don't get me wrong, but not so great people are on it.

When I say not so great people are on it, I say not the kinda people (for the most part- some of my great girlfriends are on it, and of course I'm on it.) you're going to bring home to mom and dad are on it.  If you're looking to just hook up with someone, then you're on the right dating application.  So, me looking for a relationship and not just a hook up, perhaps I should have steered clear from the application from the start.  I have met one person from Tinder, and the experience was so bad that I would never use the application ever again.  Let me give you seven solid scenarios, and perhaps you'll be able to hear me out and get a kick out of it.

Where to I begin?  Which story is the worst? Most of them are just funny messages, I could only screen shot, so I'll just post screen shots with witty side comments.  Apparently last time I did that, it was quite the hit.  Please note the time of day for some of these messages.


1.


... Was this actually real life?  I need to meet one of the girls that actually said yes.


2.

... I should have said something like sorry, I don't wash my hair because I don't have any and I'm going through chemotherapy.  Something to make him feel like the compete asshole that he is.

3.

Too bad I don't need a green card.

4.

Other than the fact that he has the same name as my brother, I gotta give him points on getting creative, but really?  That's all you're going to talk to me about?  I just lost interest.

5. I wish I was able to post voice messages or record stuff on here.  It would really make it that much more interesting.  I was talking to a guy, seemed like a really sweet guy, so I gave him my number.  Then he started getting stalkerish/too nice (is that possible)/just straight up bad weird and left me this voicemail after talking to him for two days:

***Before you read this, I replayed the voicemail about 10 times so it was spot on:

"Hey Courtney, this is Julian... I know that you said I think you were going away or something, but  figured I would try my luck anyways because I kicked some ass today.  I'm very proud of myself, I dove into my work, (he's an entrepreneur, another word for unemployed loser, 95% of the time.) I hired an amazing employee for my team.  I also accomplished some of those tasks, you know, that you've putting off for a long time and procrasenating.  Well, I not only did I attack them, I tore through them like a hungry animal and I wanted to reward myself with some Courtney time.  Perhaps I can tempt you with some fine wine, dancing in the park, the moonlight, um no ah just wanted to say hello.  Now you can finally match a voice to the face; hopefully talk soon."

... :shakes head:

The next two are people that I actually met.  Those are actually the more interesting ones, ones that raised a couple questions about the society that we live in today and would just be too long for one blog.

Until then
xox C