Google Steve asked me to marry him

Yes, you read the title right, Google Steve from my blog asked me to marry him just last week.  I've been living with Google Steve for almost a year and half, been dating two years or so and he popped the question just the other day when he was a chaperone on a school field trip with my students.

It went a little like this...

It was a sunny Friday, not a cloud in the sky and NRC was going on their last class trip to Six Flags.  I've been waiting for about a month for this trip to happen and I spent hours planning with my fellow colleagues.  Through those late nights of planning, I never actually realized how much work those dang trips are.  That's besides the point, let's get to the good stuff... So, I was nervous about how it all would go down, this and that, people speculating that students would be doing all sorts of crazy things at the park, but I had faith in my little children.  

Fortunately enough, we needed extra chaperone's, so Matt (aka Google Steve) was able to come.  I could tell he seemed a little nervous, but little old me figured it was the fact that I asked to him to watch ten students all day, that would make any engineer who doesn't interact with children all day nervous.  Plus, he just got a big promotion at his job, so he has been working late nights, dreaming in computer code.

The day came and I woke up like a child on Christmas.  I was so dang excited to go back to Six Flags!  For those that do not know, Google Steve took me to Six Flags on our first date two years ago.  He was a sucker and bought my sweet ass a season pass; unfortunately, I was not able to go a second time because of rain, other circumstances.  Anyways, we both were getting ready, I was trying to rush a little faster because I offered to be the breakfast bitch for my friends, so of course, I was running around like a crazy lady.  I changed into my cutest park attire (as cute as it could be, I mean I had to tie up my lions mane with two hair ties) and we rushed on our way to school.  The only strange aspect that morning was the fact that Google Steve asked me what to wear; he only did that on special occasions, but I figured he was meeting my much talked about students, so I really didn't put too much thought into it.  I told him to put on his fish shirt that I got him from Target; mainly because my favorite Autistic student has been telling me all about what fish we need for our fish tank that now has snails in it.

7:45 we got to NRC, figured out last minute trip things, made Google Steve stock the buses with water and bagels for the children, and by 8:45 we were on our way to Six Flags!  Nothing out of the ordinary, just that we were sitting in sauna of a bus with 52 teenagers and six adults.  By the time we got to the park, just about everyone had a mean case of "swamp ass." (refer to urban dictionary if you don't sweat like a beast and understand my lingo.) 

The first ride we went on were those giant swings.  I informed my kids that this was mandatory because they needed to get acclimated to the idea of a ride.  Simply because most of my students never went on a roller coaster before (breaks my heart every time) but, now that of course has changed.  After that, we went on my all-time favorite, Nitro.  For those that do not know Nitro, it's only one of the highest roller coasters on the east coast.  Little did I know that Google Steve was carrying a very expensive ring in the pocket of his shorts as I asked him to go on this mighty fine roller coaster.  Next up was Skull Mountain, where I had to pass because I took the role of bag boy and carried everyones goodies thus far.  Last but not least before the big proposal, was the Sky Ride.

The thing about the Sky Ride is that Google Steve and I had our first kiss here.  I remember being timid because it was the first date and after everything that had happened, but I remember thinking on that first date, "Screw it, this one really likes you, I mean he's been talking to you for months and he got you a season pass, don't be worried, he's not like the others." And that's the thing, from square one, Google Steve was not like the others, he was real and I don't know if I was quite ready for it yet. Then the time came that I was over the game of the dating life, and I decided to give Google Steve another shot.  (For his sake, "he decided to give me another shot too." ha!) 

We get in line for the Sky Ride and a student of mine is FaceTiming a former student of mine.  We chat, we exchange our hello's and  Google Steve is talking to my favorite Autistic student.  She asks him for gum, he says no, I don't think too much of it.  After we all decide what car we want to go in, I have with me- Google Steve, my favorite Autistic Student, and my other favorite punk rocker student who I used to have a show down with every single day. (She always thought she was right, but hell no! The teacher is always right!  After a myriad of lunch detentions, she found that little tidbit out, and we became good friends.) 

We got into the car and Google Steve Puts his arm around me, and starts telling my two girls about our first date at Six Flags.  (Before all of this, I told all my students about how Google Steve and I had our first date there and how simply excited he was to come meet everyone.)  I nudge him, like a Floyd Mayweather move, simply hoping that he got the hint to stop talking and making this Sky Ride about us.  He goes on, explaining how him and Miss B had their first kiss on the Sky Ride. (They said they would turn around and let us kiss.  I politely declined.) And then his words of praise continued on, regardless of my nudges, of how much this was a very special first date and something he simply could never forget. All of a sudden, he asks if anyone would like gum.  He takes the gum out, and out goes the ring of my dreams into his hands and he gets on one knee. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IS THIS A JOKE?" The words fall out of my mouth, my Miss B filter is gone.  Fortunately enough, I did not curse, which is kinda surprising because sometimes I get a little sailor mouth/my Colombian ratchet side comes out. He says my full name, and asks to marry him. "THIS HAS GOT TO BE A JOKE, BUT IT'S THE RING I REALLY WANTED." 

In the end, of course it wasn't a joke.  It was the best and most thoughtful way he could have asked me to marry him.  Regardless of the fact that it was the day after seven years of my father's passing, it made the time of the month easier.  Easier to the fact that July is a really crappy month, death sucks.  But, now every July 10th, I will remember that the man of my dreams asked me to be his forever, and forever I will remain happy and delighted to be his.

Until next time.

Xox CB 

It's been a while...

Current status: sitting in my basement, scantily clad in flannel pants with snowflakes, Zegna silk and cashmere hoodie, oily makeup from a 5:45 wake up, wrapped around in a big blanket (one in which my family calls the "buffalo blanket" for unknown reasons- especially since it's white with pink flowers on it...) and currently trying to do anything and everything other than my job.  It's been way overdue for a blog post, so why not now?  I'm hoping for a snow day tomorrow, so I'm being awesome and not doing my prep for classes tomorrow.  Side note- the title of this blog, makes me think of this old Britney Spears, can't think of the name...

I haven't written in here since September... for obvious reasons- I'm in a loving and caring relationship with someone I don't know how I lived without for the last 24 years.  He's insanely smart, annoyingly hilarious, a sexy redhead with the coolest green/gold eyes, a cat lover (his cat looks like him if he was a cat), and possible sugar daddy (HA!) material for when I need to be a stay at home mom.  The most ironic part- he's "Google Steve," you know, the guy I wrote about how many months ago that I hated...

I know, I know, you're thinking I'm insane, but some weird feeling overcame me when I got mad at him; but why?  Weirdly enough, at a family function in the late summer, I found out that a lot of my family members read my blog.  Which is fine, but it's just silly to think that people actually read this hot mess of a life that I have.  I actually have a couple of followers from Russia.  Anyways, so a cousin of mine really got to me.  Said cousin actually got mad at me for being mean to "Google Steve."  Weeks just kept on going, I kept on thinking, and "Google Steve" texted me some adorable/odd apology.  I decided to give him a chance, because I kept on thinking about all those good guys out there that I always let down, and the fact that someone basically loved me without meeting me scared me a little, but I was getting to the point that I needed that in my life because of the lack of love in prior relationships.  So, I set up a date with "Google Steve."

This date was back in September (he probably remembers the specific date) and I still can't believe it happened.  I told him I wanted it to be a "friend date" simply because I was still dating that idiotic Polish guy (Meanwhile, I didn't see him for two weeks and we would talk like once a week) and since we didn't officially say we were over, I didn't want to lead "Google Steve" on.  We met at good old Six Flags for our first date.  I was so nervous and didn't know what to wear, but at the same point in time, I really didn't care because he was the one that had to impress ME because I was the one that hated him at one point in time.  He got there a little bit before me, and ended up not only buying us tickets, but bought us season passes.  (When we first handed them to me, I was like, "Damn, even if I don't see this guy ever again I got a season pass out of this- SCORE!" ...I don't think I ever told him that :) )  Anyways, the "friend date" went so well that I ended up going to his place afterwards (Don't be stupid, I'm a classy lady) and we had a couple of nightcaps with some friends.  A first date turned into him calling out sick the next day (I of course didn't have work because I was in between jobs) and me spending a couple more hours with this interesting, sexy fellow.

Three months later, I'm still with that same guy and I couldn't be happier.  He drives me absolutely nuts/makes me laugh so hard that I want to pee my pants/teaches me all these things I never knew/is my meteorologist/spoils me like the princess I should be/loves cats/makes me branch out of my shell/basically anything and everything I could ever ask for in a significant other.  Sometimes the good guys do win... Sorry M for the hell I put you through, love you.


xox C


PS- I never got to the part where I'm a middle school language arts teacher and I got the job on my first interview ever for teaching ;) #blessed

Why do people disappear in relationships?

This is a blog, this is supposed to be a personal thing, so I'm going to make it very personal after this entry.  I don't feel extremely comfortable writing about this, giving everyone extreme insight of my personal life, but in all actuality that's what a blog is for.  I've already told you other stories about my life, might as well write about this one.

Have you ever been talking to someone and they just disappeared?  Stopped answering your calls, texts, emails, morris code, whatever you use for means of communication?  Why does that happen?  Why are people that rude and mean?  What did you ever do to them?  What went wrong? Questions such as that swirl around my mind as the same thing just happened to me.

Regardless of the fact that I want to admit it or not, my so called "perfect boyfriend" wasn't perfect after all regardless of the great dates that we had when we were together.  The first weeks growing up to the relationship were, but after that, things took a evil turn for unanswered reasons.  We decided to make it monogamous, and things really just ended after that.  I could never have never seen this coming, but something just happened and I still have so many questions unanswered.

But why was it after we made it official that things got weird?  He got a promotion and I never heard from him again, really only once a week.  I made two surprise stops to him at work and he promised everything was okay, just things were busy at work.  Things aren't okay when you hear from your "significant other" once a week for three weeks and Facebook lets you know that every other five minutes he's liking shit on Facebook and Instagram.  I cut him slack when he told me things were going on in his family, but after three weeks you can't even throw me a bone here and tell me anything?  There were so many other personal aspects of his life that I knew, that this situation seemed so small and I was speechless that he couldn't tell me anything; maybe if he told me something I would be willing to wait.  I'm an extremely compassionate person, and family is everything to me, so I understood in the beginning.  I would always bring him small gifts when I visited, always unappreciated and never thanked, and that's probably when I should have got the hint.  Then it just hit me one day; I can't waste a solid month in my 20's on someone that doesn't want to waste their time with me, I can't wait for someone if they can't even give me some kind of explanation.  Things were great in the beginning, but why all of a sudden did things take a turn?  It's just unacceptable and time is so precious that it shouldn't be wasted.  Things shouldn't be wrong in the first couple months of a relationship, this was when you were supposed to be in a honeymoon phase, where you just wanted to rip each others clothes off everyday.  So why was this happening to me?  I never did anything wrong, and I know that for a fact.

So, I called him on Sunday, before that the last thing I heard from him was last Wednesday saying he would call me when he could, he was just busy at work.  I told him Sunday on his voicemail  (since that's the only way I could ever speak to him) that this isn't a relationship and that he needs to call me back for this to be fixed or ended.  I never got a call back.

So why did he feel it necessary to waste three weeks of my time telling me that we were okay when we clearly weren't?  Was it really work?  Was it another girl?  Was it really family?  What's the point to just dangle me along?  Just end things and let me move on, be a man, sometimes things just don't work out, I understand.  I tried to be patient, then I realized I was just being a fool.  Why do people do this?  Is it lack of courage?  Lack of self confidence?  Not wanting to hurt someone?  What is it?  Why do people just disappear into thin air?  What happened?  All I did was good towards you, as a woman I've evaluated every aspect and every conversation and I know I'm right.  (That's not just the stubborn Taurus in me.)  I even bought books to learn Polish for him since that was his primary language; I know I'm a good person.

Moral to this story and relationship, don't waste your time on someone who doesn't want to waste their time on you.  He could have texted me while taking his morning shit, could have texted me instead of liking stupid memes on Facebook, he clearly always saw my texts and could have sent me a text at some point in the day.  I should know this by now, numerous boyfriends of my past, but I still get lost in a cloud of love whenever I meet someone I'm head over heels for.  I make excuses for them, and that's just unacceptable; at least I didn't let it go on that long like I have in the past, can't be such a pessimist.  Clear your head of this infatuation, and always be aware of the signs around you.  Ignorance isn't always bliss.  Really just be aware of the people in your life that actually do care and notice you.  Those people are those that you should be wasting your time with; thanks M xox.

xox C

What do you do with a bad kisser?

Hello, hello, we meet again.  It's been a while, and I've been pretty darn busy, but I'm currently unemployed and waiting for a start date on my new job.  I don't want to jinx anything, but when I can, I will surely and happily announce to the world what my new life path entails.

On to bigger and better things, a new thought that has crossed my mind that's worthy to blog about- bad kissers.  What do you do with them?  Kick em' to the curb?  Teach them how to kiss the way you like it?  Is there a bad/wrong way to kiss?  Yeah, there sure as hell is.

Back in the day, during my Match days, I was casual dating a guy that was a bad kisser.  I didn't like him enough to consider him to be baby daddy material, but he was nice to be around with for the time being.  I really just couldn't break it off with him because he was a bad kisser; but now that I think about it, couldn't I?  I mean a strong relationship to me is a combination of friendship, respect, and sexual attraction.  I had that with him, but since he was so bad at kissing, I just couldn't do it or think about wanting to move it to the next level.  He was so nice that I kept saying yes to next dates, and the bad kissing part was the only reason why I wanted to say no.  It was like kissing a dead fish; his tongue just sat in my mouth cold and wet and I didn't know what to do with it.  He just didn't move, didn't use any hands, no passion at all.  I would start to avoid any type of contact with him and always met in public places and dreaded the end of the night where he walked me to my car and kissed me goodnight or drove me home and kissed me goodnight.  Maybe we just had no sexual chemistry even though I found him attractive, but you can't exactly tell someone that, or can you?  Is that offensive?  It takes me back to the movie 27 Dresses, (Long story short- girl loves her boss, her boss falls for her sister, it doesn't work out with sister, so she tells the boss she likes him, they kiss and they don't feel any "magic.") so when you don't feel "magic" with someone, I guess you can tell them?  How is that magic supposed to feel?  A little tingle in your heart?  A little tingle in your lady parts?  Maybe?  Maybe I thought things would change, maybe I thought could change them, but when I really get down to thinking and writing, it is what it is.  You can't force things that aren't meant to be.  I knew from square one that it wasn't right, but why did I keep pursing it?  To fill up my time?  To try and make it work because I knew how nice he was and it's so hard to find a nice guy now-a-days?  Whatever the reason was, now I know that you really need to realize that what you see is what you get, and if something bothers you that much, then it's a deal breaker and you end things.  I guess you got to experience life and people to really realize what's good and not good for you.

I once had a friend that a lot of my guy friends made out with, and they always said she was a bad kisser- dead fish kinda deal.  Each and every guy said the same thing to me and pulled me aside and asked me to show her how to kiss.  Never did, I never confronted her, I didn't know how I would do it.  Now, she's in a steady relationship with a guy that can deal with her bad habits.  Maybe he didn't think being a bad kisser was that big of a deal.  Who knows, I can never ask, but maybe he doesn't think she's a bad kisser, maybe he taught her, maybe I have to ask him... Maybe I'll just keep that scenario to my imagination.

Life is about experiencing new things each and everyday.  You can't shelter yourself, you just got to go out and do you.  Even though he was a nice guy, being a bad kisser really was what I couldn't deal with.  I couldn't think about having to deal with how horrible it would be if the kisses goodnight were bad.  (I mean, hey, it's the truth)  So, you got to find someone with flaws that you can accept, ones that aren't going to bother you each and everyday; just takes a lot of dates, timing, and patience to find someone with those qualities.  Good luck to me and all of you out there ;)

That's it for now.
xox C

Indeed, chivalry is not dead.

I hate to say it, but the dating aspect of my blog has come to a close.  I know I said in my last post that I was seeing someone that I really liked, and we just had that monogamous conversation talk the other night over the best and most thoughtful date I've ever had in my life.  This goes to say that I still will write about interesting dating issues, but maybe I'll start using stories from my friends or I don't even know at the time being, but I promise I will keep you all entertained.  I can really get creative sometimes, so I'm really not too worried. I've had a numerous amount of people tell me that they will be upset that I won't have any more dating stories to post, but who's to say I'm not going to wake up one day and elope with this guy?  That could be an interesting story, but I'm not going to get ahead of myself too much ;)  Plus, I did tell him about this blog of mine...

Regardless of the fact that I need to write a closing blog of my dating life, (I mean this was supposed to be a menswear blog) I really need to write about chivalry before I do so.  What exactly is chivalry in this day and age? Is it opening car doors?  Paying for your drunken meal at The Grilled Cheese Factory after you took eight shots each on his tab at a dive bar?  Is it having him fill your tires with air because you don't understand anything about cars?  Is it having him notarize your teacher certificate paperwork? Is it buying you your favorite flowers? (Side note- I can proudly say all of those have happened to me, hence the detailed descriptions.)  Whatever chivalry is it you, it really depends on your standards and how much moral respect you have for yourself.  (This is a blog, I am entitled to my own opinion, so hear me out) Anyone could think paying for a drunken meal at The Grilled Cheese Factory $13 later is just fan-fucking-tastic or maybe your idea of chivalry is someone who spends $275 at a five star restaurant in New York City; to me chivalry is really something that is an act that has meaning to (that particular person), that no money value can ever attain.  I want someone to listen to what I have to say, I want someone to go out of their way for me, I want my partner to respect me as much as I respect him, I want it all; I mean who doesn't?  After all, isn't the point of dating to find your best friend?  With sexual chemistry of course... Isn't the most healthy relationship start with a friendship?  We all have our different opinions on this one, but I really find that chivalry is just something a guy has or he doesn't, most of the time your parents raise you with this set of core values.

All my life I've dated guys that I liked, but I've really I've had some little doubt in my mind about, yet always ignored.  I don't want to come off as being passive aggressive, I'm just being honest, it is what it is and now where I am in my life, I'm fully aware of it.  Maybe I just wasn't ready to find "the one" just yet while dating in the past.  I had fun in my last relationships, but there comes a time in a place where you need to look for a baby daddy/husband and not just someone who's fun to get drunk and have sex with.  I had a great time on Match.com, and I would seriously recommend it to anyone; I really had an insanely good time after being on it for two and a half months, even with the drama.  I just was finally getting to a point that I was over it, I was over the dating scene, and trying to remember everything that every guy I went on a date with said to me so I didn't seem rude.  (Like I said, I never made it to making flashcards of every one of the guys.)  It honestly just got too hard and too overwhelming, and dating really shouldn't be like that.  Then, I met a game changer; someone that actually stood out to me in more ways than one.  I know I'm young, I'm only 24, but when you meet someone that actually makes your heart skip a beat, you got to just go with the flow.  I don't think there's a time in your life that's "ideal" to be married or pregnant or all those other fun things, especially when Mr. or Mrs. Right come along; When it happens, it happens.  If I get married tomorrow, as my darling would ironically say, "YOLO." (For all you old people on here- You Only Live Once.) It's really just so true even though that phrase is just miserable!

So, the other night I went on a date that's truly one for the books, at least in my dating history.  I feel the need to express this because it's just was that awesome and thoughtful and every girl should have a guy out there that treats them like a princess.  I hate when guys think that concept is stupid (girls thinking they need to be treated like a princess), I mean after all, you're supposed to be doing most of the wooing, even in today's modern society.  Every girl should have a guy that treats them like gold, or every guy should have another guy that treats them like gold; it's whatever tickles your fancy.  Everyone in this world deserves respect.  So, anyways, this date...  I knew about it for a week, but he never told me what we were doing, it was my first surprise date ever, and I was scared...

6:00 PM- He picks me up at work, he comes into my store with one single flower from a hydrangea.  (points to this guy, he knows how to listen when I speak)  He says in the cutest and dorky-est way ever, "I didn't want to be cheesy and bring you a whole thing of flowers."  I love it, I don't usually love cheesy and typical, too cliché for my liking.  I could tell he's extremely nervous by the little stutter in his insanely sexy Polish accent.  It's cute, I blush, my heart flutters whenever he speaks; I mean I am your stereotypical born and raised New Jersey white chick, accents are like once and a blue moon thing for me.  I go and I get changed out of my uniform and my coworkers entertain him/I told them to feel him out for me.  (I'm so kind, I know, sorry my dear.)  So, all is good, I'm all dressed and ready to go in one of my absolute favorite dresses- a white with black polka dot dress and bright pink shoes; I had this outfit planned out ever since he told me we would be going on a surprise date, and I knew I had to wear it, especially when he said he loved a woman in polka dots.(So fem and chic)

6:30 PM- Anyways, back on track...  So, we get to his car and he's still nervous while he plugs the destination into his GPS; he drops his phone several times, but I like nothing ever happened, he has complete composure...  He also greeted me with a hydrangea in a bottle of Poland Spring, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  At this point in time, the only thing I knew about the date is as follows:

1. I wasn't allowed to wear heels.
2. I had to be comfortable.
3.  He needed to bring a car with a bigger backseat... (Get your mind out of the gutter.)
4. I wasn't going to be home before midnight... (Again, get your mind out of the gutter.)
5.  People now a days don't really do this anymore, he's an old soul, just like yours truly.
6.  It's a fifth date, and he says he won't bring me to the woods and kill me; good to know.
7.  We are going somewhere to pick something up and then we are going somewhere for the final destination.

So, he informs me that we have an hour drive.  An hour drive... Where is he taking me?  What the hell are we doing?  Guesses people?

7:30 PM- We arrive at a strip mall. Hmm... I see a pizza place, I love pizza more than anything in the world, hopefully he remembers, it is Friday and I do have pizza every Friday.  (True, but not true on the favorite thing in the world part... I'll let you take that as you want.)  So, he says he did a lot of research and this is one of the best pizza places in New York.  New York you say... Yeah, I was in Warwick, NY which was basically like the sticks, still had no idea what we were doing.  Maybe a pizza eating contest?

8:15 PM- We pick up the two (yes, two pies of pizza.  I told him I could eat a pie by myself in one sitting and ironically enough, he's the pizza eating champion of his town.  After the told me that, I knew our meeting was fate.) pies of pizza and we head to our next destination.

8:30 PM- We arrive at Warwick Drive in movie theatres.  Root beer- my fav, wine- my fav, plastic wine glasses (classy like that), and bug spray- because bugs terrify me, pillows, blankets, etc...  Nothing short of thoughtful just to make a lady feel comfortable.

1 AM?- We drive to Pennsylvania to look at the stars in his favorite spot on the east coast.

I'll just leave it at I didn't get back to wee hours of the morning, but he was a complete gentleman and all.  Every girl should be treated in such a thoughtful manner; I mean the guy planned out thirteen other dates before he thought of this one...

So what should be expected when it comes to a first date?  I say first date because technically it was our "first date."  Long story short, before this, we only visited each other on each others lunch hours, so it was a fake first date.  I can't bore you too much with my personal life...  So, when push comes to shove, what do you prefer?  I could tell you this, 9 out of 10 women are totally with my thoughts on the surprise date idea; every lady is a sucker for a romantic guy.  So if you're a guy, what will you plan for your next first date?  All I ask is that you be original; I mean if you're looking for something serious, you're bound to get a second date after you take a girl on a date that is extremely well thought out, just like stated above.  Like I said, it doesn't matter to most girls how much you spend,  (the world is full of divas.) to most it really matters on how much you actually planned the date around that girl that you're going out with; what does she like? what are her favorite things in the world and how many of those favorite things can you fit into one date?  With that, that's my definition of chivalry. Think of the girl you're seeing and what she likes and dislikes on your next first date if you want to keep her around, don't do your typical dinner date, think outside of the box and I promise you'll get some extra kisses for it.

xox C

How do you break up with someone you're not dating?

As per popular demand, here's my thoughts on how to break up with someone you're not dating.

Lately, I've been enjoying the single life and meeting an absurd amount of guys each week; I'd probably say for the last two and a half months I've been going out on four different dates a week.  That's a lot, I know, but I'm young and I've never done this before, so why not.  I've met some interesting guys, found out a lot about myself, had some good meals, had some really awkward meals, almost left in the middle of a date, I've had some interesting nights.  It's not like I've slept with any of them, that's just not who I am.  When I think about it, only three of them I have been on second dates with.  It's been fun, it's been real, until this one guy kinda stopped my in my tracks; I must say I'm a little smitten. So, I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I've been realizing that I should slowly start cutting off the other dates I had planned, and really just focus on one guy, just to get back into the monogamous mindset even though we haven't had that conversation just yet.  But, maybe we kinda did...  Did we?  Like I said, this whole dating around thing isn't me anyways.  Oddly enough, I actually considered writing flashcards for each guy that I was dating just so I didn't sound like a jerk on a date and called him by his wrong name.  I asked my mom about the flashcard concept, and she actually said it was a smart idea, that it was a really organized of me to do that and didn't judge me at all.  (Unfortunately, I never got to flashcards because of a certain someone...)  So, basically, the point of this blog is to really think about how to remove someone you're kinda seeing out of your life to make room for someone you actually really like; I really want to do it in the nicest way possible.  I don't want to use the, "it's not you it's me excuse," but I really got to get to brainstorming if I don't want to be an asshole.  But, who really cares if I'm an asshole?  I'm never going to see these guys ever again.  Whatever, regardless of me being the kind soul (only at times) that I am, I need to think of something that's not going to make me go to hell and not going to make this guy jump off a bridge.  As you've noticed, I'm kind of a list person, so here's my thoughts a little all over the place.

List of possible ideas on how to break up with someone you're not dating:

1. You can just not answer any of their calls or texts.  Hypothetically, this idea sounds great, and I've actually really started using it with a couple of guys that I never met face to face.  I got this idea from when I first started Match.com.  I was talking to this guy, things were going great, we planned a date, and then when the day came I called him and he never answered.  So, I waited... and waited... and couple hours later I just said something like, "Hey, looks like we aren't hanging out, hit me up whenever you want to meet up."  Said dude never answered, and I was a heartbroken for a couple days, it is what it is; I probably was only upset because it was the first person I talked to on Match.  There actually was another time when I met someone that I thought was going to be my next boyfriend; seriously, he seemed to be exactly what I wanted.  We had a great first date, went through two bottles of wine (Little hypocritical as per a prior blog post- there are always expections), he kissed me goodnight, called me for a couple days after, and then never answered my calls.  I was so angry that I called him out on it and said something like, "I never expected this of you, this is so dick of you" (went a little bitchmode) and he actually apologized saying something like, "one day you'll (aka me) find someone great because I deserve it.. yadda, yadda..." Still  never found out what happened with him, but I don't give a shit anymore, his loss.  After these two scenarios, I really don't think I can do that to someone I went on a couple dates with.

And so, I keep thinking... I really only have to "break up" with one guy.  What to do...

2.  I can meet up with him for coffee/drinks and break the news.  This all sounds great, but I really don't owe him anything after five dates; wait, do I?  We never had a conversation about our future, probably because I never saw a future with him, he was just nice and a time filler, and I figured he was so genuine that he deserved my time.  When is there a point in time that you "owe" someone something?  I don't really want to see him again because I know he's not for me, but he's not a mean guy...

Side note, I think in order for you to fully understand this dilemma I'm going through, I think I need to explain this guy to you.  This guy, let's call him Daniel, and he is overall a really sweet guy. 

Cons with Daniel:
1.  He doesn't look me in the eyes when we talk; huge, huge pet peeve.
2.  He's really shy, and I'm not at all.
3.  He's extremely cheap from what I can grasp.
4.  He likes only dive bars.
5.  I know I'm sheltered, but he's like SHELTERD.
6.  It sounds like he's never had a real girlfriend at the age of 26.
7.  He doesn't have the type of motivation I'm really seeking in a significant other.
8.  He's not my typical type.

Pros:
1. He's legitimately a sweet guy, he would never be a dick to me.
2. He's funny when he let's his guard down.
3. He can keep up with my sass
4. I can't think of anything anymore; why didn't I do this earlier?

From our first date I could tell he wasn't the one; is that bad?  Should have stopped seeing him after that?  But, he was so nice and so safe I kept giving him second chances in hopes that I would like him more, but I just don't.  But now I actually found someone that I like, and I really should just cut him off before I get his hopes up or he thinks we are dating... I mean, I did meet his sisters on our second date... Alright, help me out here people...

3.  I can just text him and tell him the truth.  Who doesn't like the truth?  I feel like everyone out there deserves the truth, so this has to be the answer. "Hey Daniel, you're a nice guy, but I started seeing someone else and uh good luck!  Don't jump off a bridge!  You're a nice guy, just not for me!"  I could say it awkwardly like that, or I can think of something more creative.  Short and sweet is really the way to go in scenarios such as this.

I think option three is the way to go.  Are there rules with this kind of thing?  Do you have to be nice to someone when situations like this happen?  I guess on how you end things really is a judge of character.  Eh, I've been broken up with in via text message, (fuck you, cop outs ;) so it is what it is. Wish me luck.  Perhaps I'll post results...

xox C

Is it okay to Google someone you're talking to?

I've really been debating if this was a post I should write, but I've really decided that I had to.  When I think about it, it's something I'm passionate about, and so I should be able to write a blog about it.  In no way shape or form am I trying to be disrespectful to the guy that I was talking to, I just don't agree with what he was doing and his approach to courting me and I feel the need for others to hear about it.

As I've stated prior, I'm a little old fashioned compared to a lot of people my age; I like hand written thank you notes, hardcover books over Kindles, I really enjoy the beauty behind words, which is probably the reason why I'm an English Major.  I must admit that I am an avid texter, (although, not as much as my brothers!) but that doesn't mean that I don't love to have a phone conversation for hours with friends or someone that I'm getting to know.  So, when I was talking to a guy and he said he Googled me and found my Twitter, Blog, etc. I got a little taken back and worried.  Why did this guy feel the need to look me up using the Internet and not just ask me questions himself?  I understand with modern technologly all around us, there's really no boundaries on what you can find out about a person through the internet.  I just really think doing something such as Googling someone you're courting or dating is crossing a boundary; regardless of the fact that I have absolutely nothing to hide, I just felt violated in such a sense.

Let's call Mr. Google Steve.  I met Steve off of Match, no more Tinder ever again.  He was from Philadelphia, and part of me was always very hesistant about pursing anything because my last relationship was long distance and he lived right outside of Philadelphia as well; I really don't think I'm willing to make a commitment to another long distance relationship, I want something that's a little easier.  So, because he was so funny and cute, I was willing to give him the time of day regardless that he was 100 miles away.  We talked for weeks and apparently I cancelled on him two times in the period of a month and a half of knowing each other.  (I don't even remember consenting to dates)  So, last weekend we had a final date opportunity (final date opportunity in his eyes), but my schedule was just so off because of work.  I was working way overtime because we were understaffed, and I was putting in 14 hour days (I would do that if I was teaching, but this is retail, and I don't get paid that well to be there for that long ;)  Anyways, I told Steve that I might be free on Saturday, but I really wasn't too sure because of how my schedule was looking the past couple of days.

So, Saturday rolls around, I worked all day, and had to bail on Steve again.  You do what you gotta do on commission; sorry, but making enough money to pay off my student loans is more of a priorty than going on a date with anyone, sorry for being too logical.  So Steve got a little mad...

After reading this, I can't tell if I'm the bigger bitch or not.  He was a nice guy, total gentleman, but like I said before, I just wasn't having it with the distance and my history with long distance relationships.  So, I didn't answer him for a while...

After seeing this, I really felt heartbroken for a short period of time; Is writing my blog wrong?  Am I being a mean person?  I mean I really try and keep the identity of these guys private, so I really didn't care what he was saying.  The purpose of the blog is for laugher, and maybe some people will learn a couple dating do's and don'ts.  It's not meant to be malicious at all.  Then things started to get a little fucking weird and I didn't feel guilty at all...

I don't even know you Steve, so how is that even possible?  I'm sorry, but I'm also talking to other people, it's the name of the game.  As soon as I joined Match, my brother made it really clear to me that I should do that and expect that being done to me.  You can go on dates and date as many people as you want until you have that next step conversation; I'm sorry, but I don't think of anyone when I go to sleep, maybe just my cat, but that's it.

I looked back, it was three weeks ago that I had something about my blog on Twitter.  He really looked through my tweets, because I tweet a lot...  Then, here's where I started to get a little heated...

I'm still honestly so torn on what to say about the entire scenario, but actually not really at all.  I felt him being genuine behind this all, but why would you admit to Googling me?  That's just fucking weird!  If I'm being totally honest with myself, I will openly tell you that I'm dating a guy and numerous people have asked me to see a picture of him, but I don't have one.  So, one day, I found him on Facebook and showed my girlfriend.  I could have just pulled up his Match profile, but it tells him that I was just looking at him, and I wanted to avoid that after how many other times I've looked at his profile.  Other than that, Googling someone hasn't crossed my mind; and that's probably because of the fact that I've always dated guys from college, and I just didn't need to.  Or maybe I trust too many people and that's just why I've gotten so burnt in the past...  Is Googling something that I should be doing?  What if you do this and find something you don't like about the person?  How would you even begin that conversation?  I guess I really think about it in a different perspective, but I really just don't want to.

As stated before, I just think of it in a sense of being violated; why did he feel the need to do this?  Did he think I had something to hide?  What I do on my own time, is what I want to do.  Not to even mention the fact that we haven't even met... If he had any questions, I'd be willing to answer!  I did tell him that I was a blogger and I wrote about menswear and dating advice, but he said nothing else, didn't ask any questions.  With all the technology today, I really and truly feel like the art of conservation is failing; why is this?  What is going to happen in the future?  Will we not even know how to have a conversation?  Will we only be able to communicate via text message and email?  I truly fear for future generations and for my children, perhaps this is also the reason why I'm getting back into teaching English.  I want to make sure children still know how to write without spell check, I want people to understand how important it is to write thank you notes, and people need to know how you should properly follow up after an interview.  There are so many important life skills that start with knowing how to properly converse with another person, and so many future adults lack this skill already because of subbing in person conversation with technology.  If I could help my students out one at a time, I'd be fine with that just to touch a couple souls and hopefully he/she passes that on to their friends and their children.  I just want someone to get to know me by talking to me and not stalking me on my Facebook or the internet; is that too much to ask in a modern day society with all these resources around us?

Let me know your thoughts.

xox C